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I just answered a question on Toutiao.
The problem is this: the woman’s father says she can’t get married without a house.What should a man do if his daughter tells him that he will sever family ties if he makes decisions on his own?
This is how I answered, hahaha—
The father hopes that his daughter will have a secure future and that she will own a house before getting married. This is the most instinctive psychology and the simplest requirement of the woman’s parents.
Because marriage means more or less the same thing to men and women.
A woman’s youth is fleeting.
A woman’s most valuable stage is during her childbearing years.
At this most valuable stage of life, they bear the most difficult and important responsibilities in childbirth and raising children.
I hate it when people talk about love in the context of marriage.
Indeed, love is the foundation of marriage, but the saying “marrying someone of equal social standing” has existed since ancient times, and this saying is not entirely outdated.
This at least illustrates that marriage requires sufficient financial support.
If one party’s economy is too bad, no one can guarantee how long they can maintain the relationship after the hormones subside.
Therefore, if we’re talking about love alone, without considering economic foundations in marriage, I wouldn’t dare say it’s all about love, but I think most of it is just playing around.
I appreciate Professor Xue Zhaofeng, an economist, discussing marriage from an economic perspective.
Xue Zhaofeng, a renowned economist and the most philosophical mentor on the talk show “Qipa Shuo,” teaches women to use economic theories to think about love and marriage.
He believes:Relationships between men and women begin with feelings, become entangled in money, and ultimately remain true to human nature.
He believes that if women can rationally and calmly use economic theories as a basis before entering marriage, then many problems that arise in human marriage will decrease by half.
Today, we will not discuss the accuracy and rationality of this percentage.We simply want to use economic theories to interpret the truth about marriage.
Marriage is essentially like starting a company together. And the woman is the one who invests more in the initial stages.
Professor Xue believes that in an economic activity, the party that invests earliest will certainly require the party that invests later to have a basic guarantee of investment.
Only in this way can this economic relationship be maintained relatively firmly.
Otherwise, it would either die in the womb and be impossible to actually operate.
Either it is maintained for a period of time, but then it has to be terminated.
The same applies to marriage.
However, in the early stages of marriage, when the woman is at the optimal age for childbearing, it is not only reasonable for her to request certain material support from the man to help her get through the difficult period of childbirth and raising children, but should also be supported.
This can protect and safeguard women’s rights from the most basic economic perspective (if the house is not in the woman’s name, she is merely a tenant).
Therefore, Professor Xue believes that women in marriage should boldly discuss benefits, rather than simply talking about sacrifices.
All those actions that purely talk about giving without mentioning benefits are just playing dirty tricks (hahaha, this is my favorite line, I’ve said it so many times).
So, young man, if you are a responsible person and truly love the woman, you won’t care about her father’s demands.
what to do?
That’s easy. Do everything you can to prove to the woman’s father that his daughter will be happy, secure, and worry-free after marrying you.
Of course, this guarantee is not just about a house. Perhaps if you take concrete actions, work hard, have a reliable and rational mindset, and are responsible towards the woman, then a house is not necessarily the only requirement.
The woman’s father’s statement is essentially asking for a promise from you; having a house would be better, but if not, actions will speak for themselves.
Prove it with your actions!
(Of course, those women who insist on marrying even if they are penniless can disregard the above points…)
Because, at least that follows your heart…
But having lived half my life, I believe that economics is more useful than romance novels, hahaha.
What do you think?
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