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Between the sexes
What right or wrong is there to discuss between men and women? Only choices. Whom you choose, you relinquish the right and wrong to them.
Between the sexes, there is only a thin sheet of paper. This sheet is opaque, and on either side, there is an unfathomable mystery between them. However, this sheet is also easily torn; once it is torn, there are no more secrets between them.
Even if all the men in the world were gathered together, they could not give a complete definition of a woman. And vice versa.Relationships between men and women are a never-ending experiment.
When it comes to evaluating the opposite sex, one is most easily swayed by fantasies before making contact, and most easily swayed by what one experiences after making contact.
Actually, there are no men and women, only this one man or this one woman.
Once a man lives with a woman, he assumes he understands her. He forgets a truth: the things we are most familiar with are often the things we understand least.
Perhaps the most appropriate attitude towards women is to acknowledge that we don’t understand them, and to forever maintain that sense of freshness and mystery we felt upon first encountering them. Isn’t the difference between the sexes an eternal miracle of nature? No longer feeling surprised by it doesn’t indicate a deeper understanding, but rather that our senses have been dulled by habit.I am convinced that for pleasure between the sexes to be maintained at a satisfactory level, a sense of surprise and delight at each other’s physical and mental differences is an indispensable condition.
Vanity in men and women is not isolated; in fact, it encourages each other. Men take pride in marrying beautiful women, and women take pride in marrying celebrities; their respective vanities fuel each other’s. Without the gaze of the opposite sex, women wouldn’t be so obsessed with fashion, and men’s pursuit of fame would be greatly diminished.
It’s perfectly normal and common for a man to flirt with other women. But if he flirts with his wife, it’s either extremely abnormal—it’s cheesy—or extremely unusual—it’s a touching display of the enduring freshness of marital love.
Flirting requires the participation of others. When two people are alone, it’s easy for things to become serious, making it difficult to flirt. But once flirting starts, it’s easy for half-hearted attempts to become real, and genuine feelings to develop.Public flirting is a battle of wits, a performance, and a joke.Flirting alone is a temptation, a test, and a fantasy.
For men, a beautiful, single woman is always a great temptation. If she is already in a relationship, the temptation diminishes somewhat. If she is already in a relationship with someone else, both physically and emotionally, the temptation vanishes completely.For a man and a woman to treat each other as their gender, there must be a possibility of intimacy between them, even if they never pursue that possibility.
Women don’t love men who aren’t a little bad. Men don’t pay attention to women who aren’t shameless.I must add immediately: a man’s so-called “badness” refers to his lust for women; a woman’s so-called “cheapness” refers to her desire for men to lust for her. Therefore, this is actually the most normal state for men and women.
Between spouses and even lovers, a mixture of affection and arguments is almost unavoidable. The differences lie in: first, the quality of both—there is deep, unforgettable affection, and there is superficial affection; there are arguments that cause serious harm, and there are arguments that are merely superficial; second, the proportion of both. However, the situation is complex. Sometimes great affection is accompanied by great arguments, and sometimes, extreme affection can quell all arguments.
Men and women are each other’s stories. We can never read purely “his story” or “her story”. The stories that can never be fully told in this world are always “her and his story”.
Women should not readily claim to see through men, nor should men readily claim to see through women. At most, you may see through a few men or women; their flaws have their own origins and should not be attributed to their gender.
In close friendships between men and women, there is inevitably an element of sexual attraction, but it doesn’t necessarily involve a sexual relationship; it’s more of an emotional connection. If a person feels the same way about having friends of the opposite sex and friends of the same sex, then something is definitely wrong with that person.
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