Story: My husband and I had no sex life for twenty years, and I only had my second spring when I was nearly fifty

It was a clear and crisp autumn day, the sky as blue as a giant jewel. As I walked to my teahouse, I encountered a woman of exceptional elegance in the stairwell.

She wore a camel-colored suit, with a knee-length skirt that revealed her slender and shapely calves. Her hair was as smooth and neat as seaweed, with a simple hair clip tucked into it.
She smiled and asked me, “Which floor?”
If it weren’t for the few wrinkles around her eyes and brows, I wouldn’t have been able to guess her age at first glance. I glanced at the floor she had already pressed and said, “Same floor.”
She nodded politely to me and then fell silent. The elevator slowly ascended, and she had a faint, pleasant fragrance that was not overpowering.
Unexpectedly, she turned out to be a customer who came to my shop for tea.

Autumn is a great time to drink black tea, so I brewed her a pot of Yunnan Golden Needle Black Tea. The brewed Golden Needle tea leaves were a bright reddish-yellow color, with a high aroma and a lingering aftertaste. I hoped that the rising steam would help ease her tension.
Sure enough, after taking a sip, a relaxed expression appeared on her face. She praised the tea I brewed, saying that she liked the taste of maltose and that it left a sweet and lasting aftertaste.
After tasting the tea, she said she wanted to find a stranger to confide her story to, and since the shop wasn’t busy, I was fortunate enough to become a listener.
I was shocked the moment she opened her mouth. She said, “My husband and I haven’t had sex for twenty years.”

I never imagined that such a thing could happen to such an elegant and intellectual woman. I dare not think about what kind of harm and injustice she had suffered behind the scenes. I can only listen attentively to everything she has to say with my calmest gaze and gentlest voice.
She is 40 years old this year. Looking at her appearance now, it is not hard to imagine how beautiful and charming she must have been more than 20 years ago.
She said she grew up in a small county town and had good grades. In the 1980s, she entered a nursing school. She said that she was pursued by many people at that time, and because of her appearance and temperament, she was noticed by the county leaders. The county leaders then introduced her to their son.
When she told me these things, there was no happiness on her face; instead, it seemed as if she was trying her best to suppress her sadness.
Is the son of this county leader your husband?
She nodded with a wry smile: “Yes, strictly speaking, we actually only met twice before we got married. I had a pretty good impression of him. He was tall and well-mannered, and his speech was also quite good. Although he wasn’t very educated, he didn’t come across as vulgar. Looking back, I realize that I was actually quite fond of his family back then. In that small county where information was scarce and people were very close-knit, the county leader was the best official I could imagine. Marrying his son would have saved me and my family a lot of suffering.”
She is very sincere. I think that during countless sleepless nights, she would often recall their beautiful first encounter and wonder countless times where their marriage went wrong.

“I got married at 19. It was less than half a year from when we met to when we got married. During our honeymoon, I had my first intimate encounter with Mr. X. All my beautiful fantasies about marriage vanished that night.”
Her description was similar to what I had imagined. Around the 1980s, marriages where couples didn’t have a deep understanding of each other before marriage inevitably had many problems afterward. Marriage was sometimes like a mirror, forcing both parties to shed all pretenses and be honest with each other.
Mr. X was actually a mama’s boy. During their week-long honeymoon, she discovered too many unbearable behaviors in him: unhygienic, rude, incompetent at housework, and they had absolutely nothing in common. What devastated her most was their unhappy sex life.
When she got to this point in her story, she became visibly agitated. I got up and sat down beside her, gently patting her back in hopes of helping her relax.
Perhaps both of them were young at the time and didn’t have much sexual experience. Mr. X forced himself on her without her being prepared. There was no comforting, no kissing, no sweet talk throughout the entire process. She felt like she was just a tool for sexual release. In a hotel in a foreign land, she was all alone and helpless, and pain permeated the entire time.
Afterwards, she took a shower frantically, feeling that Mr. X, who was unhygienic, was very dirty. She cried in the bathroom while showering, feeling that she would never be clean no matter how much she washed.
Mr. X was also annoyed when he heard her crying in the bathroom. As a pampered young master, he was unwilling to lower himself to coax her. Instead, he thought she was being dramatic. The two had a fight and then began a cold war.
She glared fiercely at Mr. X: “I want a divorce.”
Mr. X looked indifferent: “Let’s get a divorce then.”
The young couple were progressive and accepted divorce, but their parents would never agree. In that small county, divorce would be a laughing stock, and the father-in-law was a high-ranking official who cared a lot about his reputation.

As she spoke of this, I began to feel sorry for her. Her marriage had been beyond her control ever since the honeymoon ended.
I wanted to give her some energy, so I pushed the snacks that were already prepared on the table and said, “Let’s eat and chat.” Making someone recall unpleasant memories is actually a very tiring thing, while desserts can soothe a person’s emotions.
She took a piece of mung bean cake, put it in her mouth, and chewed slowly, her movements still elegant and charming.
She said that in the end they couldn’t get a divorce. Both sets of parents disagreed, and her father-in-law transferred her to the Cultural Bureau. At that time, a government-affiliated position was a very respectable job, and she easily obtained a very easy, leisurely job. At the same time, her father-in-law also helped his younger sister find a job and his younger brother go to school. She said she was somewhat resigned to her fate. Why not exchange her unhappy marriage for the happiness of her family?
She soon found out she was pregnant after convincing herself. Her parents-in-law were overjoyed and showered her with care every day, treating her like their own daughter.

After becoming pregnant, she had a legitimate reason not to have marital relations with Mr. X. Even when they were both at home, they didn’t communicate much and stayed in their own rooms. It felt like they were two strangers with a marriage certificate.
Once, when she ran out of toilet paper, she didn’t want to bother her husband, who lived just a wall away, so she used a towel from the shelf. At that moment, a feeling of deep sorrow welled up inside her, as if her life had just begun but was already coming to an end.
Mr. X seemed to find his marriage unbearable, so he rarely went home. He would stay out late with a group of friends, and he liked to play cards, drink heavily, and tell dirty jokes. It seemed that some very low-level interests could satisfy his definition of life.
She looked down on him, and even grew to loathe him more and more.
One weekend, Mr. X brought his friends home. Late into the night, the sound of them playing mahjong disturbed her sleep. She pushed open the door to stop them, only to find the house filled with smoke. She coughed violently in the smoke and, unable to contain her anger, picked up a vase and smashed it at them. The vase shattered on the ground, but no one was injured. However, she suffered a miscarriage as a result.
Mr. X brought her to the hospital in the middle of the night, and fortunately she was fine.
She lay in her hospital bed, heartbroken and tearful, questioning Mr. X about whether he could think about his child, stop wasting his days doing nothing, and ask if he could be a proper father.
Mr. X looked disdainful. “I don’t want children anyway.” He then pushed open the door and went out to smoke. He was actually quite distressed, thinking about his friend’s wife, who was gentle and lovely. Although she was not very literate, she was virtuous. He wondered why his own wife had such a strong personality.

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Story: My husband and I had no sex life for twenty years, and I only had my second spring when I was nearly fifty