Story: A Not-So-Exciting Sexual Encounter

Life isn’t just about red, yellow, and blue; it’s also about black, white, and gray. We uncover the raw, unvarnished aspects of life and strive to find a glimmer of light to illuminate our shared path.

-1-Before Feng Qing finished her night shift, her boyfriend Chen Da messaged her on WeChat saying he’d found a part-time job as a waitress at a bar. He wouldn’t be able to pick her up that night. He told her not to worry about the money, to take a taxi back to their rented apartment, as there were many wolves around at night, and he’d be furious if she got eaten.While I was chatting with my boyfriend on WeChat, thunder roared and a torrential downpour began in an instant.Chen Da said, “It’s raining, but I’ll still come pick you up.” Feng Qing said, “Forget it, I’ll take a taxi: ‘You don’t have a car, wouldn’t it be a waste of money for you to take a taxi to pick me up? Besides, I just found a part-time job, it’s not good to skip work.'” After confirming that Chen Da wouldn’t come to pick her up, she sent a WeChat message to Wang Kang: “Where are you? Pick me up after get off work.”Wang Kang was incredibly fast; in less than half an hour, he and his Audi A6 appeared in front of Feng Qing’s factory gate, greeting Feng Qing as she left work in a very imposing manner.After getting in the car, Feng Qing told Wang Kang that her boyfriend, Chen Da, had found a part-time job at a nightclub and wouldn’t get off work until two or three in the morning.Wang Kang glanced at his watch and said it was still early, so he should eat something first before going to my house.Feng Qing agreed: “Just take me back before 2 o’clock.”The two ate something at the night market, returned to Wang Kang’s house, and went straight to bed without even taking a shower.Having had enough of this commotion, Feng Qing asked Wang Kang, “When are you finally going to get a divorce?”Wang Kang told Feng Qing that he had originally planned to file for divorce this month, but his wife went back to her hometown to take care of her father when her father-in-law fell ill and was hospitalized: “Is she even human to file for divorce at this time?”Feng Qing didn’t pressure Wang Kang to divorce his wife anymore. She whispered, “It’s not good for us to keep going like this. You’re letting your wife down, and I’m letting Chen Da down. Maybe I should just break up with Chen Da?””I’ve discovered you’re pretty wicked too.” Wang Kang’s smile was a little sinister. “You can’t bear to part with Wang Da, and you can’t bear to part with me either?”Feng Qing moved her head away from Wang Kang’s arm, feeling his words like a knife piercing her heart. She said, “It’s getting late, take me home.”Wang Kang agreed. -2-Three years ago, Feng Qing and Chen Da went to Guangzhou to work. Chen Da worked as a deliveryman for a food delivery company, while Feng Qing went to work in a leather shoe factory.Some say Guangzhou is a city permeated with romance, making it easy to lose oneself. After arriving in Guangzhou, Feng Qing witnessed firsthand how one of her close friends, amidst such romance, married a man from Guangzhou.After meeting Wang Kang and sleeping with him, Feng Qing became increasingly pragmatic: all romance needs material support. Any love without financial security is simply asking for trouble.Wang Kang is not from Guangzhou, but he has a home and a small factory there. Moreover, he has no children, so getting a divorce would be very easy for him.Feng Qing planned to confront Chen Da immediately after Wang Kang left. Actually, she didn’t want to be two-timing; it would be bad for Chen Da to know she was in love with a married man while Wang Kang was still married.As fate would have it, Chen Da stumbled upon her affair with Wang Kang on the street.That day, Feng Qing and Wang Kang were shopping on Beijing Road. As they stood hand-in-hand waiting for the light to turn red at an intersection, Chen Da’s motorcycle suddenly braked, stopping abruptly in front of them, spilling takeout orders everywhere. Chen Da rushed forward and punched Wang Kang, knocking him to the ground: “You son of a bitch, you dare touch my woman? I’ll kill you!”Still not satisfied, Chen Da straddled Wang Kang and continued to beat him mercilessly, causing Wang Kang to scream in pain. Traffic police officers on duty nearby arrived and took all three to the police station.During the police mediation, Feng Qing said that she and Chen Da had broken up a long time ago.This is what heartlessness and heartbreak are all about: I love you deeply, and you hurt me deeply.Three years ago, Chen Da planted a dream in his heart: to earn money to buy a house and make his girlfriend the most beautiful bride.Three years have passed, and Chen Da’s dream has not come true. Feng Qing tells Chen Da not to work so hard: “Even if you work yourself to death a thousand times, we still won’t be able to afford a house.” Chen Da says earnestly, “Qingqing, you have to believe me. I will definitely buy you a new house.”Feng Qing chuckled. She said that in this life, one can be unattractive, unrefined, and even lack integrity. But one absolutely cannot be without money.This is the conclusion Feng Qing reached after moving from the countryside to the city and living there for three years. Chen Da disagrees with her views, believing that these theories are absurd, too materialistic, and have abandoned the basic bottom line of a person’s life—personality and dignity.Recalling what Feng Qing had said, Chen Da was no longer surprised that she had fallen in love with a married man. -3-Chen Da was truly heartbroken.Previously, while discussing views on love with his coworkers, one of them said that the most vicious way to destroy love is through the temptation of material wealth. Chen Da disagreed, boasting that his love with Feng Qing could withstand the temptation of material things, and that his dream was to buy a house for the woman he loved.Unexpectedly, after three years of love, Feng Qing still fell in love with someone else, proving his coworker’s views on love to be true.After Chen Da brutally beat Wang Kang in the street, Feng Qing moved out of the rented apartment and back to the factory dormitory. Chen Da advised her not to be foolish anymore, saying that Wang Kang would never divorce her: “You may not love me, but you can’t demean yourself like this. It’s just a game, and anyone can see through it.”Feng Qing said we can’t go back to the way things were, let’s break up.Feng Qing went to Wang Kang and told him that she and Chen Da had broken up. But Wang Kang’s words filled her with despair: “I want a divorce too, but I can’t.” Wang Kang calculated the costs of divorce, “If I file for divorce, the financial losses will definitely be huge. If I have nothing left, will you still love me?”Wang Kang’s words were harsh, yet incredibly realistic. Yes, wasn’t it just because Wang Kang was rich that she wanted to stay in Guangzhou? If he became penniless, what would I love about him then? Feng Qing couldn’t help but feel sorrow for herself.Wang Kang’s words gave Feng Qing a deeper understanding: he just wanted to play around with me, nothing more. Or rather, he just wanted to sleep with a beautiful, vain woman, nothing more.It turns out that Wang Kang came with a desire to conquer from the very beginning. He never intended to divorce his wife and marry a migrant worker; he was simply attracted to Feng Qing’s beauty and wanted to sleep with her.You can’t blame anyone else. It’s all your own fault. Wang Kang was right: if you met a better man than Wang Kang, would you also abandon him and run into the arms of another man?Feng Qing felt pathetic for her shameless desires: when you can no longer see yourself clearly, you have to pay the price for your foolish mistakes. Heaven is fair; how you treat others is how they will treat you.It was like having an ugly, erotic dream. -4-Six months later, Feng Qing’s cousin, who had come from their hometown to work in Guangzhou, told her that Chen Da had opened a shop in their hometown county selling agricultural products. “He even bought a house last month, and he treated several people to dinner. I went to congratulate him.”Chen Da probably left the provincial capital after breaking up with me. Feng Qing didn’t ask her cousin if Chen Da had a girlfriend. She believed that even if Chen Da didn’t have a girlfriend, they could never go back to the way things were. Never, ever.My cousin kept talking about Chen Da: “That night, Brother Chen drank a lot, and he cried.”Feng Qing asked her cousin, “Why did Chen Da cry?”My cousin said that Brother Chen cried when he mentioned you: “He said he was useless and couldn’t afford a house in Guangzhou. He also said that he wanted to buy a house in the county town to fulfill his promise.” After saying that, my cousin asked Feng Qing, “Sister, how did you two break up? There must have been some misunderstanding. Just clear it up. Brother Chen has already bought the wedding house and is just waiting for you to come back and be his bride.”Chen Da is a true man; any girl who marries him will be happy. But Feng Qing knows very well that even if she and Chen Da could go back in time and marry him, happiness isn’t guaranteed. Because in love, some wounds, some marks, can never be erased.Having experienced a foolish and confused love, Feng Qing finally understood: some feelings in the city of desire are just fleeting romance; some love, once lost, can never be the same again; some pain, once created, must be tasted alone; some wounds, if unforgettable, should be kept in the heart, leaving regret for the rest of one’s life.