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Return To ShopMismatched Libido Solution | 5 Signs of Intimacy Addiction
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Sexual desire, along with sleep and appetite, is considered one of the three major driving forces of life.
What exactly is sexual desire? Sexual desire is actually the driving force for human survival, ranking alongside sleep and appetite as one of the three major life drives. Therefore, sex is a natural, primal desire. Often when we talk about sexual desire and needs, we mention that it begins in puberty, triggered by the secretion of hormones in both men and women, and that sexual desire is expressed through intercourse and masturbation. However, more broadly speaking, sexual desire is a primal survival drive that humans possess from birth.
Sexual desire may manifest differently in children and the elderly. For example, undeveloped children know that touching their genitals feels good and will touch them intentionally or unintentionally. Even fetuses in the womb have masturbated. Due to the decline of sexual function, the elderly may relieve their sexual desire and receive comfort from physical or romantic care through kissing or touching.
Women’s libido is actually no lower than men’s.
One study showed participants explicit photos or pornographic videos, categorized as heterosexual, lesbian, and homosexual. The results showed that women reacted to all types of pornography, but men only reacted to videos featuring women. Does this suggest that women have a higher sex drive than men?
Unlike women, men’s desires generally align with their self-identity and expectations—meaning their sexual arousal patterns are more easily categorized. Conversely, while women’s desires are harder to categorize, their libido is actually no lower than men’s!
Morning erections in men do not necessarily indicate sexual desire.
Sexologist Zheng Yixin stated that sexual desire can manifest differently in men and women. For example, men’s sexual desire is often equated with erection, while women’s sexual desire is associated with arousal. However, this is not always the case, as morning erections in men do not necessarily indicate sexual desire. Therefore, morning erections do not necessarily mean a strong desire to have sex.
Sexual desire and sexual arousal are two different things, and sometimes they are not the same.
Regarding reactions to watching sex videos, there have been cases where subjects watched footage of chimpanzees having sex, and their vaginas became wet. Therefore, vaginal wetness in women is a sign of sexual arousal, but sexual arousal does not necessarily lead to sexual desire. Thus, sexual desire and sexual arousal are two different things and are not always the same. Men shouldn’t assume that if a woman’s genitals are wet when they touch her before bed, it means she definitely wants to have sex. So when a woman says “no,” it often means she genuinely doesn’t want to have sex, and men shouldn’t force it.
Surprisingly, the times when boys and girls most want to have sex are quite different.
Furthermore, research suggests that men seem to have different peak times for sexual desire. One study indicates that men are most likely to have sex at 7:45 AM, while women are most likely to have sex at 11:21 PM.
Sexologist Zheng Yixin suggests that the idea that men prefer morning sex might be related to the nature of their work, such as physically demanding jobs or high-pressure jobs. Because they feel their energy is depleted after a long day, they’re more focused on rest and sleep at night, naturally leading to a decreased libido. Additionally, men may experience morning erections and take the opportunity to have sex. Conversely, women often rush to work and do their hair and makeup in the morning, making time precious and potentially reducing their sexual desire.
Women may experience increased libido during ovulation.
In fact, women also experience periods of heightened libido, especially during ovulation before menstruation, as their bodies signal a desire for sex. As for women who have been sexually assaulted, they may find it difficult to understand why they might become wet. This is actually a self-protective mechanism. When the vagina is subjected to forceful penetration, it may cause injury, so it naturally secretes fluids to lubricate and protect the vagina.
Is it true that “30 is like a wolf, 40 is like a tiger”?
Is it true that people say, “At 30, one is like a wolf; at 40, one is like a tiger”? Sexologist Zheng Yixin says that sexual desire actually varies at each age. There is a chart that shows the “curve of changes in male and female sexual activity at different ages,” which shows that men and women meet at certain age levels. This chart shows that women’s libido is higher than men’s between the ages of 35 and 45. As for men, between the ages of 40 and 50, the secretion of testosterone gradually decreases, which relatively affects their sexual performance.
However, if a man regularly engages in sexual activity and remains sexually aroused, he won’t be entirely affected by testosterone. Similarly, women over 40 to 50 years old experience a decrease in estrogen, which affects vaginal lubrication and can lead to vaginal dryness. This can cause pain during sex, reducing libido and hindering sexual activity. On average, both men and women reach a more perfect balance in their sexual performance around age 35.
What should you do if your partner’s libido is out of sync? In fact, almost every couple will encounter this situation. So what should you do? Here are some suggestions: First, use it or lose it, meaning you should still make love more often. Second, sex should also have some novelty and variety, and using some sex toys in moderation is also a good idea.
Wanting to have sex in the morning and wanting to have sex at night, is that sex addiction?
Wanting to have sex in the morning and at night? There are even rumors of men having sex seven times a night. Are these symptoms indicative of sex addiction? Regulating sex addiction is quite controversial because sexual desire manifests differently in different people. Sexologist Zheng Yixin stated that there are some guidelines and draft diagnostic criteria for sex addiction in American psychiatry. First, one must be over 18 years old. Next, five indicators must be met and repeatedly observed for six months; then, it is very likely to be sex addiction.
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