Do Pure Friendships Really Exist Between Men and Women?

Does pure friendship between opposite sexes really exist? Does pure friendship truly exist between men and women?

“Does pure friendship really exist between men and women?” This is a topic that frequently appears in newspapers and magazines.

While the answer may vary from person to person, from a psychological perspective, the answer is clearly “it doesn’t exist.” For a man and a woman to form a pure friendship is simply impossible.

Why can’t there be pure friendship between men and women? The reason is that they want completely different things from each other, so friendship is impossible.

April Bresc Lescheck, a psychologist at Vanderbilt University in the United States, surveyed one hundred men and women about their thoughts on opposite-sex friends. The results showed that men felt that even though they were nominally friends, they still regarded the other person as a member of the opposite sex, found it difficult not to see them as a romantic partner, and also desired to have a sexual relationship with them.

Even though they’re just friends, men still harbor the intention that “there might be a chance to sleep together.” Women, on the other hand, tend to be more open and intimate with everyone, regardless of gender.

In short, women approach friendships with the intention of “wanting to make male friends as well,” but men often don’t. This is because they tend to view female friends as potential romantic partners. Furthermore, Bresk Lesschke’s research indicates that when men realize there’s no hope of sleeping with a female friend, they immediately cut ties with her. They possess a selfish side when it comes to female friends.

Readers who have read this far should now understand: pure friendship between men and women is rare, and the reason lies with men. Once a man can no longer simply see a woman as a friend of the opposite sex, the possibility of a pure friendship is extremely slim.

Long-term “pure friendship between men and women” is quite difficult.

When people first meet, there may be a short-term, temporary period of pure friendship between men and women. However, as time goes on, the man will gradually begin to see the woman as a romantic interest. Although it may seem like pure friendship in the short term, maintaining such a relationship in the long run is actually quite difficult.

But what if that female friend is exactly the man’s type? You might think that men don’t develop romantic feelings for women who are “completely not their type,” so a purely platonic friendship is still possible. That being said, as the two spend more time together, the man will inevitably discover, “This guy has some good qualities too,” and might still see her as a romantic interest. Therefore, maintaining a purely platonic friendship becomes extremely difficult. What are your thoughts?

If a man is willing to talk to you about his private matters, it means there’s a good chance for you two.

Men are less likely to talk about themselves. It’s not that they like to be mysterious, but rather that they are not inclined to open up to others. They only confide in people they trust implicitly.

No matter how many years you’ve known a man, you can still hear astonishing stories from him: “Don’t let my current appearance fool you, I won the national judo championship in junior high school.” Men rarely talk about themselves unless someone else asks them directly.

Therefore, when a man talks to you about his personal matters, it’s proof that he’s opening his heart to you. If a man doesn’t genuinely accept a woman, he’ll only say superficial things.

In contrast, women can talk freely about themselves even with people they don’t know well, such as: “I was on the softball team in elementary and junior high school.”, “I prefer tall guys.”, “I really like Gen Hoshino.”, “I’m thinking about whether to go to Thailand for this long holiday.”

Women are less averse to discussing their private matters than men are.

Psychologist W.H. Rivenbark surveyed male and female students from fourth grade to twelfth grade about their willingness to share privacy.

The results showed that before grades 4-6 in elementary school, it was difficult to discern any differences between boys and girls. Elementary school boys were willing to talk a lot about themselves. However, by the time they reached their final year of high school, a significant difference emerged between the two groups. If female high school students scored 100 points in their willingness to share personal matters, male high school students scored only 65 points. Nearly half of the men became increasingly taciturn as they aged.

Women can share all their secrets with their best friends.

Women share intimate details with their best friends, sometimes to the point of complete openness. This includes things like their friends’ romantic relationships, the types of people they date, their family secrets, and their life experiences to date. Women can share all their secrets with their best friends.

However, men interact differently. Because men don’t like to talk about personal matters, even if they are close friends, they may not know much about each other.

Kiyoshi Atsumi, who played Tora-san in the popular Japanese film “It’s Tough Being a Man,” was said to be an extremely principled person who kept his personal and professional life separate. Even Yoji Yamada, the director who worked with him on the more than forty-episode “It’s Tough Being a Man” film series, did not know where Atsumi lived until his death.

The way men interact is that no matter how many years they’ve known each other, they may not necessarily confide in each other about their private matters.