A prostitute's account: Sexual encounters with her boyfriend.

This year, in the first half of the year, through a matchmaker from my hometown, I met “Ah Lian,” who also works in Beijing. We were supposed to get engaged next year…

　　”Ah Lian,” three years older than me, lived up to his name, being as honest and simple as a girl. He had a college diploma and worked as a technician in a foreign company. He was incredibly diligent and conscientious at work. Because he was so busy, we usually only saw each other once a month. Often, he would set off from the west, and I from the east, to meet up and stroll around Tiananmen Square—this was our main activity when we rarely met. Sometimes it would be late, and he would insist on seeing me off to my car, refusing to take me back to his place for the night. Although I’ve seen countless men’s faces and become quite numb, I will forever remember Ah Lian’s lovely, honest smile.

　　”Ah Lian” once shyly told me that he would share a bed with me and enjoy the pleasures of love until after our engagement. I was so happy to be cared for and cherished like that. I secretly thought that after the Spring Festival this year, I would become a good person, stop working in the meat trade, marry him, follow him, and be a good wife and mother.

　　But, but, just now, I served a man who looked exactly like “Ah Lian.” I think this man must be “Ah Lian,” otherwise, how could the lines of his smile be so similar?

　　When I entered the private room, the man and I were both quite surprised. I only heard him say, “Just order this!” I turned and walked out the door. When I came back in with a red plate containing disinfectant wipes and red wine, I tentatively asked him if he was from Jiangxi. He said he was from Guangdong. Then I asked if he could speak a few words of Cantonese, and he actually said a few words that I barely understood.

　　Before I could even process what was happening, he said somewhat impatiently, “I’m here to enjoy myself, not to listen to your nagging.”

　　I asked again, “You’re really not from Jiangxi, you look just like my friend.” Then I muttered to myself, “I’m going to take this.”

　　This was the only time I provided exceptionally good service. I was terrified of his eyes and that familiar smile. I lowered my head and crawled on top of him, licking and blowing on him, almost numb. Under my stimulation, his penis became erect but then suddenly went limp. I heard him say, “Don’t look so sad, show some smile. I paid money for this.”

　　Because I had never had sex with “Ah Lian,” I couldn’t tell the truth from his genitals. But then I saw him become erect again, put on a condom, forcefully flip me over, and impatiently thrust in, pushing me from the center of the collapsed bed to the solid edge, causing my inner thighs to almost spasm. I cried out, “It’s broken! You’re really going to rub it raw!”

　　Only then did I truly examine his eyes. How could there be such a striking resemblance, the same chest, the same smile? Afterwards, I pressed him further, asking if he was indeed “Ah Lian,” but he remained silent, his expression one of anger and his eyes filled with melancholy. He immediately stood up, dressed, and strode out.

　　Yes, he must be my “Ah Lian”. I covered my face and ran quickly to the bathroom to sob, my eyes red and swollen from crying.

　　I’m still shaken. I think I’m doomed. If he tells me this when he goes home for the New Year, how can I possibly board the train back home tomorrow during the Spring Festival travel rush? How can I face my parents when I go back?

　　However, I really feel sorry for “Ah Lian,” who was only intimate with me on the skin, who cherished and pitied me. I never imagined that our first sexual encounter would take place on the sunken bed in the club room, but it was based on money.

　　I repent, and I’m terrified. Tonight will be the last night of my life, and you will be my last customer, because I’m going to commit suicide tomorrow.

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A prostitute’s account: Sexual encounters with her boyfriend.