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Return To ShopThe One Lost in Time: A Short Emotional Story
China OEM adult toy manufacturer
China custom sex toy manufacturer
China realistic dildo manufacturer
China adult toy supplier for brand
I. Open-crotch pants and the courtyard
In the winter of 1993 , in a residential compound for employees of a work unit in a small city in northern China, a group of young wives, wrapped in cotton-padded coats, stood on the corridor eating sunflower seeds and chatting about the new apartments allocated to them by their work unit and their wages, which seemed to have increased but didn’t.
Shen Jiasui was born in this year.
A heavy snowfall in December covered the entire courtyard completely. Her mother had been in labor for over ten hours, and her final cry shook a few snowflakes off the window. Her father paced back and forth in the corridor, rubbing his hands. Hearing the cry, his eyes immediately welled up with tears.
The couple next door, Chen Jianguo and his wife, were even more excited than he was. They held their one-year-old son, Chen Huaisheng, and peered through the glass window of the delivery room.
” Look, look, look! A girl! How beautiful! ” Chen Jianguo’s wife, Li Fengxia, was holding her son and pointing excitedly at the wrinkled baby in her swaddling clothes.
One-year-old Chen Huaisheng, of course, didn’t understand anything. He nestled in his mother’s arms, gnawing on his fist, his face covered in drool, his big, dark eyes curiously looking at the world.
He had no idea that this newborn baby girl would stay in his life for a very long time.
Shen Jiasui and Chen Huaisheng have been inseparable since they were toddlers.
The two families lived across from each other, separated by a concrete staircase. In those days, in the residential compounds of work units, almost no one closed their doors during the day; security doors were a later addition. The children would visit each other as if they were visiting their own kitchen, pushing open the door, shouting ” Auntie, I’m here !” , and then familiarly rummaging through the refrigerator.
The day Shen Jiasui learned to walk, she wobbled from her own front door to the one across the street, bumping her head against Chen Huaisheng’s iron gate. A bump rose on her forehead, and she burst into tears. Chen Huaisheng, who was a little over two years old then, could already run and jump. He squatted down, clumsily wiping her tears with his sleeve, mumbling, ” Don’t cry, don’t cry, snort— “
Shen Jiasui sobbed, looked up at him, tears still on her face, and suddenly stopped crying.
The adults in the courtyard often talked about this incident later, saying that the two children were destined to be together since they were little.
II. Spring, Summer, Autumn and Winter in the Compound
The family compound wasn’t large; four red brick buildings formed a square, with a concrete open space in the middle, where several half-dead paulownia trees grew. This open space was a paradise for the children.
In spring, the paulownia trees burst into bloom with pale purple flowers, clusters of them, their fragrance almost cloying. Shen Jiasui loved to pick up the fallen flowers and string them together with needle and thread to wear as necklaces. Chen Huaisheng would squat beside her, helping her pick them up; she would string a bunch, and he would pick up a handful, their movements perfectly coordinated.
In summer, the adults would set up bamboo beds in the yard to cool off, while the children chased and played, covered in sweat. Shen Jiasui couldn’t outrun the boys and was often chased and cried out. Chen Huaisheng would rush over to block her, spreading his arms like a small wall: ” You’re not allowed to bully her! “
In autumn, the yard was filled with drying cabbages and radishes, ready to be pickled for the winter. Shen Jiasui didn’t like the smell and ran away covering her nose. Chen Huaisheng grabbed her hand and quickly ran through rows of cabbage stacks to the small shop outside the yard, where he used his pocket money saved up for two days to buy her a big bubble gum.
Winter is the hardest to endure, but also the warmest.
In northern winters, temperatures drop to minus twenty degrees Celsius. Water pipes freeze, and thick frost forms on the windows. Adults go to work wrapped in overcoats, while children go out bundled up like cotton balls. Shen Jiasui is sensitive to the cold, and every winter his hands get chilblains, swelling up like small buns. Chen Huaisheng’s mother taught him a folk remedy — soaking his hands in water boiled with eggplant stalks. He remembered it, and every winter he would ask his mother to boil an extra portion. Carrying a basin of hot eggplant stalk water, he would knock on Shen Jiasui’s door: ” Soaking my hands! “
Shen Jiasui put her hand into the basin, grimacing from the heat. He looked at her from the opposite side, smiling and revealing his half-missing front tooth.
” What are you laughing at! ” she glared at him.
” Your bared teeth look like a rabbit’s. “
” You’re the one who’s like a rabbit! You’re a big rabbit! “
That winter, steam rose from the hot water in the basin, and the snow fell silently outside the window. Two children sat facing each other, their four hands soaking in the same basin, neither willing to take their hands out first.
III. Elementary School – Winter Stove
In the autumn of 1999 , Shen Jiasui and Chen Huaisheng enrolled in a primary school for children of employees.
It was called a primary school, but it was really just a row of single-story houses with red bricks and gray tiles. A few pieces of glass in the windows were broken and covered with newspaper. The playground was compacted yellow earth, which filled the air with dust when the wind blew and became muddy when it rained.
In those days, in northern primary schools, students had to light their own stoves in the winter.
There was a tin stove in the classroom, its chimney stretching out of the window, winding like an iron snake. Every year before winter, the teacher would assign a task: each student had to hand in twenty pounds of firewood or ten pounds of coal briquettes. Those who couldn’t hand in enough had to take turns lighting the stove.
Shen Jiasui didn’t know how to light the stove.
She was clumsy and afraid to even strike a match. She would scream and throw it away as soon as the match head touched the ground; the match would arc through the air, land on the ground, and go out. While the other students had already started blazing fires, her stove was still belching black smoke, making her eyes water.
After Chen Huaisheng lit his stove, he would come over, squat down in front of her, and silently take out the firewood from her stove and rearrange it. He would roll up old newspapers into tubes, stack small pieces of firewood in a grid pattern, strike a match, and the flames would leap up. Then he would slowly add larger pieces of firewood and coal briquettes.
The whole process takes no more than five minutes.
” Why can’t you do it? ” He turned to look at her, his face smeared with black ash.
Shen Jiasui squatted down beside him, sniffing, and said matter-of-factly, ” With you around, why would I need to learn it? “
He paused for a moment, then lowered his head and continued fiddling with the stove, his ears turning slightly red. The firelight reflected on his face, casting a flickering orange-red glow.
“ You can’t always count on me, ” he said softly.
“ Why not? ” she asked.
He did not answer.
That year, they were in fourth grade.
During the coldest part of winter, the classroom was heated by an iron stove. The students in the first two rows had their faces flushed from the heat, while the students in the last two rows were stamping their feet from the cold. Chen Huaisheng was tall and sat in the second-to-last row, while Shen Jiasui was short and sat in the third row. Every time he passed by her seat, he would throw his cotton gloves on her desk.
” You wear it. ” Those two words offered no further explanation.
She put her hand inside; the inside of the glove was still warm, carrying his body heat.
That warmth seeped from my fingertips all the way to my heart.
For six years in elementary school, they were always known as ” a couple ” among their classmates . Whenever someone teased them, Shen Jiasui would chase after them with a red face and hit them, while Chen Huaisheng would sit in his seat with his head down, flipping through his textbook, always turning to the same page.
They have never admitted it.
But the whole class knew.
IV. Separate Weekend Buses
In 2005 , they graduated from primary school.
Chen Huaisheng was admitted to the city’s key middle school, while Shen Jiasui missed the cutoff by a few points and went to an ordinary junior high school in the district.
The two schools were located in the east and west of the city, respectively. From then on, their life trajectories were like two diverging railways; although they were still adjacent, they were no longer on the same track.
The top-tier middle schools are strict, requiring boarding students and a two-week break. Regular junior high schools are relatively more relaxed, but Shen Jiasui’s workload suddenly increased, so she also boarded at school and went home every two weeks.
Coincidentally, they all came from the same town.
They meet at the bus station on the second and fourth weekends of every month.
The buses of that era were old-fashioned long-distance coaches with red stripes painted on their bodies and hard, artificial leather seats that made the whole bus shake when it started moving. The buses were always packed with people — migrant workers carrying woven bags, women holding children, and villagers carrying chicken and duck cages.
The drivers were all like racing gods from Mount Akina, driving with the ferocity of Formula 1 on the bumpy national highway . They didn’t slow down when turning, and they didn’t brake when going over potholes, causing the passengers to be tossed about and the packages on the luggage racks to dangle precariously.
Shen Jiasui gets carsick every time she travels by car.
She suffered from severe motion sickness; she would feel nauseous as soon as she got on the bus, her face turning pale and her lips blue. Chen Huaisheng would always get on first, taking a window seat and then leaving the aisle seat for her.
“ You sit inside, and we’ll open the window a crack so it can let in some fresh air. ” He took her schoolbag and placed it on his lap.
After the car started, the carriage was filled with various smells — diesel, leather, instant noodles, and salted fish from who-knows-where—all mixed together and fermenting in the enclosed space. Shen Jiasui pressed her face against the window, the cool glass against her burning cheeks, her stomach churning.
Chen Huaisheng took a piece of ginger candy from his pocket, unwrapped it, and held it to her lips.
” Hold it in your mouth to stop nausea. “
She opened her mouth and took his fingertip in her mouth; their lips touched each other, and they both froze for a moment.
No one spoke.
Outside the train window stretched endless fields of the northern plains, with cornfields and wheat fields alternating, smoke rising from distant villages, and orange-red sunsets on the horizon. Inside the carriage, some people were chatting loudly, some were dozing off, and some were soothing crying children.
The bumpy bus, carrying a load of tired yet hopeful people, swayed and moved forward slowly into the twilight.
Chen Huaisheng’s shoulder was right next to her, not too close, not too far. When she felt really dizzy, her head would unconsciously lean against him. He didn’t move or move away, but just lowered his shoulder a little to make her more comfortable.
After getting off the bus, they went their separate ways. The roads in town weren’t long; it took ten minutes to get from the bus station to her house, and ten minutes to get from his house to the bus station. They parted ways at the intersection; he went east, and she went west.
“ Call me when you get home, ” he said.
” You don’t have a phone at home. “
” Then call my mom’s factory and have her tell me. “
” That’s too much trouble. “
” It’s no trouble at all. “
She smiled, slung her backpack over her shoulder, and turned to leave. After a few steps, she glanced back; he was still standing there, hands in his pockets, watching her.
” You’d better leave! ” she shouted at him.
“ You go first, ” he replied.
She turned around, quickened her pace, and dared not look back.
That’s how they got through those years. They met every two weeks, each time a bumpy two-hour drive. They never said “I love you,” never held hands, but every encounter and parting was more touching than any sweet words.
V. From Registered Mail to QQ Penguin
They wrote many letters during their three years of junior high school.
This wasn’t the kind of ordinary mail that you just put in an envelope, stick a stamp on, and send — it was registered mail, the kind you have to go to the post office for. Because regular mail is too slow, taking four or five days to arrive, while registered mail is faster, taking only two days.
Shen Jiasui wrote her letters very carefully, using lined stationery and writing each stroke meticulously. She told him about interesting things at school, how terrible the cafeteria food was, her new friends, and what TV dramas she had recently watched. The last line of each letter was always the same: ” Study hard, and don’t always worry about me. “
Chen Huaisheng’s letters were short and the handwriting was messy, clearly written by a boy. He told her how difficult physics problems were, how his roommate snored in the dormitory, and how stressful it was to attend a prestigious high school. But occasionally, he would slip something into his letters — a flattened leaf, a pretty stamp, or a joke cut out of a magazine.
The last sentence of his letters was always the same: ” Study hard, and don’t always worry about me. “
Two people who say one thing but mean another.
Later, times changed.
First, there was the telephone. There was a public telephone installed in the residential compound, next to the gatehouse. Whenever someone called, the old man at the gatehouse would shout at the top of his lungs, ” Shen Jianguo from 302! Phone call! ” Every time Shen Jiasui went to answer the phone, she hoped it was Chen Huaisheng on the other end. But public telephones were inconvenient, and she couldn’t speak too directly, as people were always passing by. She could only respond with “uh-huh” and swallow back what she wanted to say.
Then, flip phones appeared. Chen Huaisheng’s father bought one, a Motorola, silver-gray, with a crisp click sound when it flipped open. Chen Huaisheng occasionally managed to get hold of the phone and send her text messages. Each text message cost one cent, 70 characters, and he always made sure to fill the entire word limit, not wasting a single character.
The text messages always ended with a symbol unique to that era: ^_^
He said it was a smiley face. She saw it and smiled too.
Then, the internet age arrived.
Internet cafes sprang up like mushrooms after rain. On street corners, in alleys, and at school gates, there were those dimly lit little rooms with rows of bulky computers, shrouded in smoke, and the keyboards clattering away.
They started using QQ .
Shen Jiasui chose the online name ” Fish of the Deep Sea , ” while Chen Huaisheng used ” Silent Shore . ” Both of them used the default system avatars — she used the one of the girl with the ponytail, and he used the one of the boy with glasses. QQ Show required Q coins, and neither of them had any, so they used the free ones.
Every time he logs on, his avatar is the first one to light up in her contact list.
Beep beep beep — A message has arrived.
” Are you there? “
” exist. “
Then came a long chat. We talked about everything from what we had for dinner to what movies we’d watched recently, from our exam scores to our future aspirations. The words in the chat box appeared line by line, like two parallel streams, quiet and flowing.
They still won’t say they like it.
In those days, affection was hidden in QQ signatures. She’d change her signature, and he’d check it. He’d change his signature, and she’d ponder it repeatedly. Sometimes their signatures seemed to be having a conversation, prompting mutual friends to comment: ” Are you two exchanging secret codes here? “
Neither of them admitted it.
But behind the screen, everyone blushed.
VI. Words left unsaid
Time passed by year after year.
High school, university, work.
They went to different cities, formed different circles, and met different people. But that connection never broke, like a thin thread that the wind couldn’t break and the rain couldn’t wet, just subtly holding them together.
They weren’t without opportunities to speak out.
One winter, Shen Jiasui returned to his hometown for the Spring Festival and ran into Chen Huaisheng at the town market. He had grown much taller, his shoulders were broader, and his jawline was more defined; he was no longer the little boy who used to squat in front of the stove fiddling with firewood. He was wearing a dark blue down jacket, carrying a bag of New Year’s goods, and standing in front of a stall selling candied hawthorns.
She has changed. She is no longer the little girl with a ponytail. Her hair is now permed, and she is wearing a white wool coat and ankle boots, making her stand out in the crowd.
The two looked at each other across the bustling crowd and smiled.
” You’re here to the market too? ” he asked as he walked over.
” Yes, I’ll buy some New Year’s goods. “
” Is there anything else you need at home? “
” I don’t need anything, I just came out for a stroll. “
They walked side by side through the market, just like they had many years ago in the courtyard. An old man selling candied hawthorns called out his wares, the stalls selling couplets were all bright red, and a group of children surrounded the fireworks and firecrackers stall.
He bought her a string of candied hawthorns, coated with a thick layer of sugar, which glistened in the winter sun.
She took it, took a bite, and squinted her eyes because it was so sour.
” I’m still so afraid of sour things, ” he said.
” It’s still so sour, ” she said.
The two stood by the roadside in the market; she ate a candied hawthorn, and he watched her with his hands in his pockets. All around them were the sounds of bustling crowds and the crackling of firecrackers; the festive atmosphere was palpable.
She seemed to want to say something, and her lips moved slightly.
He seemed to be waiting for something as well, his gaze quietly settling on her face.
But in the end, no one spoke.
That layer of window paper was as thin as a cicada’s wing, yet as heavy as a thousand mountains.
They were both too young and too timid. They were afraid that if they spoke out, they wouldn’t even be able to remain friends; they were afraid that the distance between them would crush all the beautiful memories; they were afraid that they weren’t good enough for the perfect child in each other’s hearts.
And so, those delicate, pure, and passionate feelings of affection were carefully buried deep in my heart.
Year after year, it has accumulated a thick layer of dust.
7. She got married.
In her second year of work, Shen Jiasui got married.
My boyfriend was introduced to me by my family. He’s a good catch; he owns an apartment in the city, has a stable job, and is honest. I wouldn’t say I’m particularly fond of him, but I can’t find any fault with him either. My parents say he’s good, my relatives say he’s good, everyone around me says he’s good.
She figured that this was probably the best outcome.
The night before the wedding, she sat on her bed in her hometown, pulling out the dusty photo album. In the elementary school graduation photo, she stood in the third row, and he stood in the last row, his head tilted, half of it showing. She stared at that photo for a long time, so long that the moon outside the window moved from east to west.
My phone rang; it was a text message.
” Be a good bride tomorrow. ^_^”
It came from a number she had saved for a very long time.
Her tears fell onto the phone screen, blurring the smiley face icon.
She didn’t reply.
He came on the wedding day.
Chen Huaisheng wore a white shirt with a dark gray jacket over it, and his hair was neatly combed. He sat in a corner of the banquet hall, the teacup in front of him having gone from hot to cold without him taking a sip.
Shen Jiasui wore a white wedding dress and makeup, looking much prettier than usual. She walked down the aisle arm in arm with the groom, a polite smile on her face.
Her gaze swept across the crowd, pausing for a moment in the corner.
He raised his teacup and gestured to her from a distance.
Her lips curved into a smile, revealing that familiar one.
—Like when she wiped her tears with his sleeve when she was little, like when he squatted in front of her to light the stove for her, like when he lowered his shoulder for her to lean on on the bus.
Smiling and quiet, I just want to see her doing well.
She turned her face away and continued walking the red carpet. Her bouquet was crumpled in her hand, her fingernails digging into the flower stems, and her hands were stained with green sap.
Later, someone told him that he sat in the corner until the very end that night, waiting until all the guests had left before he got up to leave. When he left, he placed a red envelope at the registration desk by the door.
The red envelope contained three thousand yuan and a letter.
The letter contained only one line:
” You must be happy. Otherwise, I won’t forgive him. “
Shen Jiasui did not reply.
She tucked the letter into the photo album, placed it alongside the old photos, and tucked it away at the very bottom of the cabinet.
8. He got married.
Two years later, Chen Huaisheng also got married.
Shen Jiasui was unable to go.
She had work that day and couldn’t get away. But that wasn’t the real reason. The real reason was something she didn’t even dare to think about — she was afraid that if she went, she might do something inappropriate or say something she shouldn’t.
She sent a gift of money and a scarf through a third party.
She remembered that he was afraid of the cold.
The scarf was dark blue. She spent a long time choosing it, wandering around the mall all afternoon, touching every scarf in every store. The sales clerk asked her who it was for, and she said, ” For … an old friend. “
The salesperson recommended several, and she finally chose the simplest one, without any patterns, solid color, cashmere, and very soft to the touch.
She included a note in the package:
” Wear it in winter. ^_^”
It was exactly the same as the text message he sent back then.
Unbeknownst to him, she had rubbed the scarf against her face for a long time before sending the package. The cashmere felt incredibly soft, like the warmth inside his cotton gloves that winter.
On the day of his wedding, Shen Jiasui worked an entire day. On her way home, she passed an internet cafe, dimly lit, with the clatter of keyboards.
She stood at the door for a long time.
Then he turned and left.
IX. Youth worn away by time
The days that followed were like a calm, almost boring river.
They all had their own lives, their own families, and their own troubles. Contact gradually decreased, from a daily text message to a weekly phone call, to a monthly greeting, and finally, only a mass-sent New Year’s greeting.
It’s not that I don’t want to contact you, it’s that I don’t know what to say.
After they each found their other half, the intimacy they once shared became inappropriate. Late-night phone calls would lead to misunderstandings, and private meetings would breed suspicion. Like two stars that once sparked a flame, they drifted further and further apart on their own orbits, their light growing dimmer.
Shen Jiasui’s marriage wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t great either. They lived together as a couple, dealing with the mundane details of daily life, following a predictable routine. They argued, fought, and had cold wars, but ultimately, silence prevailed. Sometimes, she would wake up in the middle of the night, look at the person sleeping soundly beside her, and wonder: Who is this person? How did I get here?
She recalled many years ago, on a bus, she leaned on Chen Huaisheng’s shoulder, the bus was bumpy, the smell of diesel fuel was pungent, and he handed her ginger candy with his fingertips.
Those images are as clear as if they happened yesterday, yet as distant as if they happened in a past life.
Chen Huaisheng’s marriage did not last long either.
He was never a talkative person to begin with, and he became even more silent after getting married. His wife complained that he was dull, that he didn’t know how to comfort people, and that he kept everything bottled up inside. He tried to change, tried to learn to say sweet words, tried to buy flowers and gifts on anniversaries, but there was always an inexplicable awkwardness and reluctance in his words.
Some people’s gentleness is reserved for only one person.
I can’t give it to a second person.
A few years later, Shen Jiasui got divorced.
The procedures were completed smoothly, without any arguments or disputes, just like signing a regular contract. As I walked out of the Civil Affairs Bureau, the autumn sun shone brightly, just like that afternoon many years ago.
She stood at the doorway, took a deep breath, and suddenly felt very light.
It’s not easy, it’s light.
Like a string that has been stretched for many years, it finally snapped.
Fate is always full of surprises; later, Chen Huaisheng also left.
Shen Jiasui heard about his divorce from someone else. An old classmate casually mentioned on WeChat: ” Did you know? Chen Huaisheng got divorced too. “
She stared at that line of text for a long time, typed a few words and then deleted them, finally replying with just an ” Oh ” .
Then she put down her phone and went to the kitchen to pour herself a glass of water.
My hand was shaking when I picked up the water glass.
10. Reunion
One autumn, Shen Jiasui returned to his hometown.
The town has changed a lot. The old bus station is now abandoned, replaced by a spacious and bright express bus station with air-conditioned buses lined up neatly. Standing at the station entrance, watching the crowds come and go, she felt as if she had returned to the age of fifteen or sixteen, carrying a schoolbag, getting off the bus in a daze, and seeing a boy with his hands in his pockets standing by the roadside waiting for her.
She knew no one would be waiting for her.
She walked alone on the old street. Most of the shops from back then had changed their signs. The old man who sold candied hawthorns had long since stopped, and the small shop had become a chain supermarket. Only the old locust tree was still there, its canopy covering half of the street.
She stood under the old locust tree for a while, and when she turned around, she saw a person.
Chen Huaisheng stood across the street, carrying a bag in his hand, wearing a dark blue jacket, and his hair had turned quite white.
The two people stood facing each other across a narrow street.
Just like that winter at the market.
This time, however, there was a gap of more than a decade, two failed marriages, and countless nights of unspoken words.
He spoke first: ” You’re back? “
” Mmm, ” she responded, her voice a little hoarse.
” Come back for a visit? “
” Hmm, let me see. “
He walked over and stood in front of her. He was shorter than she remembered — then she realized it wasn’t that he was shorter, but that she was wearing high heels. There were wrinkles at the corners of his eyes and a few gray hairs at his temples, but his eyes hadn’t changed; they were still quiet and still, like a deep pool of water without ripples.
“ You’ve lost weight, ” he said.
“ You’re getting old too, ” she said.
He smiled, just like many years ago, and when he smiled, the lines at the corners of his eyes would come together.
” Want to have a meal together? ” he asked.
” good. “
They found a small roadside restaurant and ordered two bowls of beef noodles. When the noodles were served, they were steaming hot, with scallions floating on the surface of the soup, and the beef was cut into large chunks.
She lowered her head to eat her noodles, while he sat opposite her watching her.
” Stop looking, eat your noodles. ” She didn’t even look up.
You eat first .
She had heard those words before. Many years ago, on a bus, he said, ” You go first . “
Suddenly, she couldn’t eat anymore. Her chopsticks rested on the rim of the bowl, and tears fell into the noodle soup, creating tiny ripples.
” What’s wrong? ” He panicked and frantically pulled out tissues to hand to her.
” It’s nothing. ” She took the tissue and wiped her face hastily. ” The noodles were too hot. “
He didn’t expose her.
I simply pushed the tissue box in front of her and waited quietly.
After a long while, she sniffed and looked up at him.
” How have you been these past few years? “
He thought for a moment and said, ” It’s alright. Not bad, not good either. “
” Me too. “
The two were silent for a while. The weather forecast was playing on the restaurant’s TV, the proprietress was washing dishes in the kitchen, and the sound of traffic from the street could be heard in the distance.
” I’m divorced, ” she suddenly said.
“ I know, ” he said.
” The same to you. “
” Um. “
Silence again.
Then he spoke, his voice very soft, as if afraid of disturbing something:
” Auspicious year. “
She was taken aback.
He hadn’t called her by her name for many years. Over the years, he called her ” Old Shen ” on WeChat , ” Hey ” on the phone , and wrote ” For Shen Jiasui ” on the occasional postcards she sent .
But at this moment, he called her ” Jia Sui , ” just like many years ago in the compound.
“ We’ve struggled for half our lives, ” he said, “ isn’t it time to live for ourselves? ”
She looked at him, and her eyes reddened again.
“ What are you talking about? ” she asked.
He remained silent for a long time. The television in the restaurant changed to a different channel, playing an old song with muffled sound.
“ I mean, ” he looked down at the bowl of noodles in front of him, now cold, “ if you’re willing, let’s … be together. ”
His voice trembled slightly at the last few words.
Thirty years have passed.
From the moment she was born in 1993 , when her father held her and peered into the delivery room, to this autumn evening in 2023 , a full thirty years have passed.
Over the past thirty years, they grew up together, went to school together, rode buses together, wrote letters together, chatted on QQ together, then got married and divorced, and thought of each other in the dead of night, each convincing themselves that it was just youthful folly.
Thirty years later, he finally said those words.
Shen Jiasui didn’t speak, her tears flowing silently.
He panicked and frantically handed over tissues: ” Don’t cry, if you don’t want to, just pretend I didn’t say anything— “
“ Who said I don’t want to? ” she interrupted him, choking back tears.
” Then why are you crying? “
“ I’m happy. ” She wiped away her tears, sniffed, and looked at him. “ I’ve waited almost thirty years to hear these words. ”
He was stunned.
Then, the man with gray hair, the man who had been silent in front of her his whole life, suddenly had tears in his eyes.
He reached his hand across the table and took her hand in his.
Her hands were cold, his hands were warm.
Just like that winter when he threw his cotton gloves on her table.
Epilogue : People Fallen in Time
What happened next was quite simple.
They got together.
There was no wedding, no banquet, no red carpet, and no bouquet. They simply went to the civil affairs bureau on an ordinary weekend and received a brand-new marriage certificate. When the staff asked if it was their first marriage, they looked at each other and smiled.
“ No, ” Shen Jiasui said.
“ Yes, ” Chen Huaisheng said at the same time.
The two looked at each other.
” If you say so, then so be it. ” She conceded.
He held her hand, his lips curving into a smile, the wrinkles around his eyes crinkling together.
” That’s exactly right. “
They bought a small house in town, not far from their old family compound. The compound had been demolished and turned into a parking lot, but the paulownia trees were still there, blooming every spring in clusters of pale purple blossoms, their fragrance almost cloying.
Shen Jiasui would still pick up fallen flowers and string them together with needle and thread to wear as a necklace. Chen Huaisheng would squat beside her to help her pick them up, just like forty years ago.
Now, when I squat down, my knee makes a cracking sound.
“ You’re getting old, ” she said.
“ You too, ” he said.
The two looked at each other and smiled.
They had a cat, orange and quite fat, who liked to sit on the windowsill sunbathing. Chen Huaisheng named the cat ” Luzi” (炉子) , but Shen Jiasui thought it sounded awful and called it ” Tuantuan ” (团团) . The two of them called it by different names, and the cat ignored both of them, just sleeping on its own.
In winter, they would use an electric heater at home. Shen Jiasui was still sensitive to the cold, and her hands would get icy cold in winter. Chen Huaisheng would still hand her his gloves, but now they weren’t cotton; they were electrically heated gloves that would heat up when plugged in.
“ High-tech. ” He proudly shook his gloves.
” You think you know everything? ” She rolled her eyes and shoved her hand inside.
The gloves were warm inside, like the cotton gloves he had tossed on her table many, many years ago, next to that tin stove.
Sometimes in the evenings, the two of them would sit on the sofa and watch TV. She would lean on his shoulder, and he would hold her hand. They didn’t care what was on TV; they just leaned against each other quietly, like those two little figures who were AFK in a game many years ago.
This time, however, it’s not virtual.
It’s true.
Shen Jiasui sometimes wonders if they had been braver back then and spoken up sooner, would they have avoided going through such a long and complicated process?
But she later came to a realization.
Perhaps it was after going through such a long and winding road, and experiencing so many people and things, that they finally understood what was truly important.
In their youth, they thought that liking someone was everything, but they didn’t dare to gamble everything for that liking.
In middle age, they thought life was about compromise, marrying someone ” good enough, ” and living a ” good enough ” life.
When I got old and had had enough of all the fuss, I finally learned one thing—
Some people are unavoidable.
No matter how far we’ve traveled or how many years have passed, we’ll eventually come together again.
Just like when she was a child in the compound, she staggered from her own door to the door across the street and bumped into his iron gate. He squatted down and wiped her tears with his sleeve.
At that time, he said— ” Don’t cry, don’t cry, snoring— “
She cried for over thirty years, and he finally managed to soothe her.
Later on, the townspeople often saw an elderly couple with gray hair, walking hand in hand down the old street. The old lady wore a white woolen coat, and the old man wore a dark blue jacket. They walked slowly, as if taking a stroll, or perhaps reminiscing.
Someone asked them, ” Are you a married couple? “
The old lady smiled and said, ” Yes. “
The old man added from the side, ” It always has been. “
The old woman glared at him: ” Nonsense, there was clearly a break in between for so many years. “
The old man stopped talking, but simply tightened his grip on her hand.
It’s okay if it breaks.
As long as it’s still there in the end, that’s fine.
The paulownia tree on the street corner is in bloom again, its pale purple petals falling on their gray hair like fragments scattered by time.
It scattered with a gust of wind.
But the person is still alive.
It’s always been there.
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