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Return To ShopLet Go of Love Obsession: A Guide to Emotional Freedom
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Master Dazhao replied:
This is actually about how one cannot be born into this world without deep attachment to love! “If one’s thoughts and feelings align with the path of enlightenment, one will attain Buddhahood long ago.” The most troublesome thing in our world, the root of birth and death, is actually emotion. This is what has bound us through countless lifetimes of reincarnation, causing us to suffer endlessly. However, this must be determined according to specific circumstances; it cannot be generalized.
Asking questions and resolving doubts
Some emotions between men and women, such as those between spouses in secular life, are normal relationships. These emotions can be expressed through mutual help and care within the family. For example, a mother’s love for her child is an emotion; many couples, after a long time together, develop a deep familial bond—a close relationship where they may not be constantly entangled in conflict, but they are always concerned for each other. This is a worldly emotion. From a worldly perspective, we should transform negative emotions into positive ones, or negative desires into desires for virtuous deeds. At the very least, there should be compassion and righteousness between people! Having compassion, righteousness, and a sense of responsibility is essential to establishing a solid foundation in human relationships. On this foundation, one can develop a mind of liberation from the cycle of birth and death, and then, based on this mindset, further cultivate the Five Precepts and the Ten Virtues—worldly and virtuous practices—to ensure a good family life, a fulfilling life, and proper management of marital and familial relationships. If one can cultivate renunciation in this context, then by studying Buddhist teachings, one can develop the aspiration for rebirth in the Pure Land, help one another, and together be reborn there. In other words, if people in this world can live well, they can ultimately benefit from spiritual practice.
Asking questions and resolving doubts So, what about becoming a monk? That’s a completely different style. It means elevating worldly ties like those between men and women, husbands and wives, to a state of complete liberation from the cycle of rebirth. Even the best relationships in this life, when death comes, are like “birds of a feather flock together, but when death comes, they fly away separately.” Seeing this outcome, it’s better to have a short, sharp pain than a long, drawn-out cycle of suffering. Severing emotional attachments will be painful and difficult, but it has a longer-term purpose—to benefit more sentient beings. Therefore, Mahayana Buddhist monks in China outwardly appear as Śrāvakas (disciples of the Śrāvakas), but inwardly practice the Bodhisattva path. Outwardly, you appear to have renounced worldly life, cutting off all worldly ties, but inwardly you haven’t abandoned your parents, relatives, or those with whom you have karmic connections. Rather, once you’ve established yourself firmly, achieved liberation and freedom, you’ll be responsible for them life after life. This is how worldly emotions are elevated to the enlightened compassion of a Mahayana Bodhisattva. This ability to sublimate, if it can be achieved, is actually the best, which is that Mahayana Bodhisattvas do not abandon worldly emotions.
Asking questions and resolving doubts Of course, this intermediate step is just a process—cultivating renunciation, requiring a temporary severing of the mind. For most people, this will be painful for a while, but a short, sharp pain is worse than a long, drawn-out one. After this short pain, if you have the vow—to never abandon sentient beings in every lifetime, and ultimately to be reborn in the Pure Land with them, or to attain Buddhahood together—then this vow is also acceptable. It means that all sentient beings with karmic connections can be liberated through this connection. Amitabha!
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