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Return To ShopBecome More Attractive by Mastering the Art of Non-Demand
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What is demand?
It’s been a while since my last update. I happen to have some free time these past two days, so I’d like to talk to you all about non-needed needs.
Demand-based: refers to a person prioritizing the opinions of others over their own self-perception.A person’s attractiveness is inversely proportional to their level of need. Simply put: the less needy you are, the more attractive you are.A person with a strong need for validation will primarily be driven by the desire to gain recognition from others and to please others in their behavior and speech.Conversely, a person without a sense of need is primarily driven by their own values and desires in their behavior and speech.Which type of person do you think is more likable?
The truth about attraction: the less you “need,” the more others want.
Needs are the root of our specific behaviors. Being a non-needs-driven person makes you more attractive in all aspects, including your speech, behavior, clothes, posture, and so on.We’ve all probably heard people say, “Yeah, I really like that person. I just have that feeling, but I can’t really explain it. I just really like them.”Actually, what this feeling is exactly is not important at all, because it specifically refers to a person’s non-neediness, these qualities that emanate from their every move and attract the other person.Human nature is contradictory:The less a person needs the attention and liking of others, the more attention and liking they will attract.The more accepting a person is of others not liking them, the more people will like them.A person with a strong need for attention will constantly invest in how others perceive them, and ultimately lose themselves because they believe that they must do so to gain praise and attention in order to be liked and loved by others.However, a person without a need might do this simply for their own amusement. A person with a strong sense of need is more likely to try to control how others perceive and feel about them than to care about their own thoughts and feelings.People who don’t need external validation are more concerned with controlling their own thoughts and feelings than with how others perceive them. They don’t need others’ attention to validate themselves; instead, they radiate a relaxed, confident, and sophisticated charm from within.I think none of us should sacrifice more for others in terms of thought and emotion than others sacrifice for us.
Human Evolutionary HistoryConsider this: throughout human history, women have always prioritized choosing someone of high status who is capable of raising her and their future family—a fact that has remained unchanged for hundreds of thousands of years of human evolution.If you are at the top of the food chain, you will never be suppressed by others or need to yield to them. Conversely, if you are at the bottom of the food chain, your entire life will revolve around the theme of bowing to others.It is evident that a person of high status exhibits a lack of need, while a person of low status exhibits a strong sense of need.The sense of need is a strange thing; others are naturally able to sense it, especially women, because women need to choose a suitable partner to protect themselves, and will try their best to choose the best person.In heterosexual relationships, women unconsciously observe men’s behavior to analyze their underlying intentions and thus perceive their needs.At first glance, this may seem like a simple interaction, with natural behavior and conversation. However, on an unconscious level, these actions and behaviors have already conveyed everything the other person wants to know about your state.Of course, men and women are the same; women also have needs. However, while women’s needs may be a point of contention for most men, they are not as decisively destructive as they are for women.Conversely, to a woman, a man without a sense of need might be like a handsome, sunny, and wealthy man with abs. A man full of need might be like a burly, bearded man picking his toes.
Non-neediness ≠ selfishness and narcissism
When you are attracted to a woman, you are influenced by her, and you are willing to invest in her. This is also why we have relationships and why we are touched and moved by others.The key point is how we balance caring about how others perceive us versus how we perceive ourselves. Which is more important? Hers or yours?Being non-needful is not indifference, not loving only oneself, and not refusing to give.True non-neediness means liking you, but not depending on you; being willing to invest, but not losing yourself. If he encounters a woman who rejects him or isn’t interested in him, he’ll think it’s inappropriate or just that the situation isn’t right.Narcissistic people may seem indifferent to others, but they actually crave admiration, recognition, and obedience. They become angry and attack when their feelings are rejected, which reveals their high need for attention .
A sense of neediness is the “poison” of heterosexual relationships.
Men with high neediness may enter into relationships, but they often only end up with women who also have high neediness.Men with high neediness constantly strive for women’s approval, while women with high neediness also constantly crave men’s approval. This kind of relationship is toxic, damaging both partners’ sense of self-worth.Narcissistic men, or those who are only concerned with themselves, may occasionally enter into relationships, but they will usually only be with narcissistic and superficial women. Narcissistic men and women typically see each other merely as decorations, used to embellish their self-centered lives. These relationships are equally toxic and often end badly.
Attraction is based on behavior, not just assets and other externalities.
Whether it’s biological, cultural, or a combination of both, the fact is that a woman’s sexual attractiveness is largely based on feeling comfortable and safe with the men she encounters.Women’s sexual needs have evolved to be more psychological, stemming from the need for safety and connection.A very wealthy man is more likely to make a woman feel safe and comfortable, but if his behavior suggests that he is not, then she will not be attracted to him.Therefore, regardless of gender, the way to make oneself more attractive is:Invest in yourself, reduce your dependence on others, and live a life of abundance.The more complete you are, the less you need to seek love and approval from others, and the more charming you become.
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