"Relax, it's normal for 30-year-olds not to have sex."

Having just turned 30, she felt deeply offended.Because she has never had sex and has never learned to ride a bicycle.It is said that one should be established by the age of thirty. Even if one has not started a family, most people should have experienced the trials and tribulations of love.Being 30 years old and still not having sex does seem a bit slow at first glance.Mother, conservative, miserable, high standards… these labels will always pop into my head unconsciously.Cui Cui retorted, “It’s perfectly normal to have never had sex at 30!”So today, I invited five friends in their 30s who have never had sexual experience .Let’s listen together.Their most genuine feelings—

Sex without love

It was a violent act .@ Cui CuiFor 30 years, he has never been in a serious romantic relationship, and naturally, he has never had a sex life.The first time I felt embarrassed about this was when I was playing Truth or Dare with my colleagues .Once everyone started talking, they began discussing when they had their first time. Everyone present had had sexual experience, and when they looked at me, I had no choice but to lie and say it was during my sophomore year of college .After this incident, I began to feel anxious about my status as an “older single mother”.I’ve tried dating apps, introductions from family, and offline groups, and I’ve had a few ambiguous relationships, but none of them gave me that “I can’t live without him” feeling. I also feel there’s no need to compromise for the sake of a so-called sexual experience. To me, sex without love is violence.Now that I’m 30, I’ve become much more open-minded. Focusing too much on finding a partner has actually made me more anxious.Last month, I received my favorite birthday gift, a small toy from my best friend.I wholeheartedly recommend this to all single women.

” Being happy even without going in “Why go in ?@Persistent Zero EntropyI’m what people call a “conservative” girl, and I hope to save my virginity for after I get married.First of all, I also believe that men and women are equal in this kind of thing, and there is no sense of loss or disadvantage; both parties can get pleasure from it.The key issue is that in a relationship, it’s difficult to tell if the other person is serious about you. You can’t tell if they just want to sleep with you or if they genuinely care about you .Even if I could figure it out, analyzing the other person’s words and actions all day would be too mentally exhausting for me and would greatly affect my life rhythm and the quality of my relationship.And, I’m very afraid of getting sick or having an accident.You can be happy even if you don’t go in, so why bother going in?

” Everything else is just an excuse .”Being ugly is the key .@Xiquan Born in 1990, still has her first kiss and virginity.I’ve always been introverted and shy, and since I majored in physics, I rarely had the opportunity to interact with girls. As a result, even now, I get very nervous when talking to women.Of course, I am well aware that my height and appearance are my real weaknesses.My graduate school roommates often teased me about being an older virgin. In 2018, they couldn’t stand it anymore and dragged me to experience a half-service once.At the time, I felt that it was no different from DIY, but I was very disappointed when I left the store.It was a sense of desolation from never having been loved, a feeling of inferiority that required money to obtain sexual experiences.Later, I heard a man’s description on a podcast, which restored my feelings at the time:

“I lay there watching her back as she walked away, and I wondered, what am I in her eyes?”“I think it’s just a job. In her eyes, I’m the same as the computer I type on every day.”As far as I know, there are very few men who have never had sex by the age of 30.But I think this is not tragic.

Just thinking about it …It makes me feel disgusted .@anonymousShe has had five boyfriends, is 32 years old this year, and is still a virgin.My boyfriends have all been quite handsome, but I even feel a bit averse to kissing them. I really dislike it when my boyfriend drives with me; I just think, ” Is this all you’re with me for?”I’m attracted to the same sex and appreciate the beauty of young women, but I prefer the opposite sex. I have a very, very favorite celebrity. I might drool over his abs, but mostly I admire them.I still have desires and I watch porn and masturbate. But I absolutely don’t want to do that with anyone else. Also, when I have a boyfriend, I unconsciously immerse myself in those scenes, and this immersion is something I find very unacceptable.At first, I felt guilty towards my ex-boyfriends and thought there was something wrong with me.But after I found out that I was asexual, I felt completely at ease.

” The right time ,”But I can’t meet the right person .@allI’ve had two relationships. One was in the second year of junior high, and the other was in the first year of senior high.Hmm, I don’t even know if this counts as “being in love”. Whenever I talk to my friends about my romantic experiences, they always joke that when we were kids, it was just like playing around, holding hands and bickering, how could that be considered being in love?Indeed, back then I never thought about having a relationship; I thought it was something only adults did. The most outrageous thing I ever did was to quickly kiss someone in the last row of the movie theater while watching “You Are the Apple of My Eye.” Now I’m 31, but I often reminisce about that kind of “love” from my student days—a love that didn’t really feel like “love.”It’s kind of funny when you think about it. When you’re in the age range for dating, you’re not in the age range for sex. And when you’re in the age range for sex, you’re not in the age range for dating anymore .I used to be most afraid of doctors asking if I had a sex life when I went for a physical exam, but now I don’t care at all.Last month when I went to the hospital, I smiled and replied to her:“Maybe next month.”

In conclusion
After listening to the sharing of these five friends, I have a common feeling:They weren’t as badly off as people thought.Of course, they had expectations and also doubted themselves. But as they reached their 30s, they seemed to take things more naturally and realize that there are still many important lessons to be learned in life.Although they have zero sexual experience, this does not prevent them from achieving satisfaction on other levels.However, nowadays, we are often influenced by increasingly open sexual attitudes, and unconsciously make judgments about whether something is “normal” or not.At the 2016 Chinese Sociological Conference, a scholar pointed out:The current sexual openness is an openness in “sexual awareness,” but the actual increase in overall sexual behavior and sexual relationships is not as much as imagined.I’m thinking that there’s no standard answer to when, when, or how often sexual intercourse should occur.There is no need to subjectively categorize oneself or others as normal or abnormal.As long as you stay at your own pace in lifeEverything makes sense.