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Return To ShopMy boyfriend wants me to take nude photos/videos of us having sex. What should I do?
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We often receive relationship advice from women in our inbox. Recently, one woman asked, “I finally met up with my long-distance boyfriend. Unexpectedly, after we met, he said he missed me so much and suggested filming a sex video during intimate moments. I don’t really want to film it, but I love him so much and don’t want to upset him. Should I agree to his request?”
This girl’s concerns have actually been raised by many people in the comments section. Many men seem to dream of being the male lead in adult videos, but in reality, most girls aren’t interested in it, and some even feel a slight aversion to it. While whether or not to film is a personal choice, it goes without saying that this is a risky business. Today, let’s talk about filming sex videos.
Why would a man want to film sex videos?
Many girls, like the one who left the comment, are at a loss when faced with their boyfriends asking them to film sex videos. Most girls would think that filming “that kind of video ” is inappropriate, not only because of shame and safety concerns, but also because some feel their self-esteem has been trampled on.
Many girls are confused as to why guys would want to film sex videos. An episode of the Korean drama “It’s Okay to Be Sensitive” about a girl being asked by her boyfriend to film intimate videos might provide an answer.
Some boys said they wanted to keep it in their hearts;
Some boys say that looking at these things when they’re alone can help ease their longing.
Some boys said they were curious, and felt that watching it together would be even more exciting.
If it’s just a little fun between couples, and both parties agree and it’s safe to do so , recording some short videos is perfectly acceptable. However, some guys use all sorts of tricks to persuade girls to film videos, and some even try to instill the idea that “if you don’t film, it means you don’t love me; if you don’t film, we’ll break up .”
Under this kind of moral blackmail, many girls, though unwilling, have no choice but to obediently comply in order not to disappoint the other party, thus proving their love.
But is it really impossible to refuse?
How can a girl refuse to be photographed if she doesn’t want to?
My best friend’s boyfriend once asked her to film “short videos” for him, citing the hardship of a long-distance relationship, in order to ease his longing. At the time, my best friend seriously expressed, “I don’t want to film, I feel ashamed,” and her boyfriend chose to respect her wishes.
You see, some guys, upon learning that their girlfriends don’t want to be photographed, will choose to give up out of respect and love.
But some guys aren’t so understanding. Faced with your boyfriend’s persistent pestering, Liuyunzhu can help you solve these problems one by one:
- Distract attention
If your boyfriend says he wants to film a video because he misses you, then find something else to distract him. There are countless ways for couples to enhance their relationship, why does it have to be a sex video?
- An eye for an eye
If your boyfriend says, “If you don’t take the picture, it means you don’t love me,” you can ask him in return, “Do you insist that I take the picture because you don’t love me? If you really loved me, you wouldn’t keep forcing me to do things I don’t want to do.”
- Stop losses in time
If your boyfriend resorts to violence or threats of breaking up with you, this is a chance for you to see him for who he really is. Let go if you should, call the police if you should, and never get back together with this kind of person.
For safety reasons, we do not recommend that women film sex videos. We hope that everyone will avoid filming altogether if possible, as this is the only way to ensure zero risk.
Of course, not all guys who ask their girlfriends to film sex videos are scumbags. Some couples might film them out of personal preference and fun, and then keep them to themselves, or watch them secretly by themselves.
If this is the case, girls must pay attention: try to use your own phone to take the photos , and always remember one principle: show your face but not your body, or show your body but not your face.
How can girls minimize the risks if they want to take photos?
Because whether it’s taking private photos or videos, there’s always the risk of them being leaked :
If your phone is lost and someone else happens to crack your password;
If you encounter an unscrupulous repairman who secretly copies the information from your device;
If your phone happens to have an automatic sync function to cloud storage or the cloud…
In today’s rapidly developing information society, no one can guarantee that their information will never be leaked.
Once a sex video is leaked, it may have almost no impact on the men; without exception, it is the women who are harmed.
Looking at recent news reports about leaked sex videos, regardless of whether the leaker is a third party or the boyfriend, it is always the girls who ultimately pay the price for this imposed “shame.” It is the girls who are condemned, morally punished, and driven to despair.
Here’s something I want to say to all the girls: If your private videos are
accidentally leaked, remember that even though you filmed them willingly, you’re not a bad girl and you did nothing wrong . The wrongdoers are the people who distributed the videos and those who used them to blackmail you . Furthermore, please seek professional help as soon as possible and don’t dwell on it on your own.
What should I do if my boyfriend threatens me with a sex video?
What’s more despairing than an accidental leak is being threatened with a sex video by someone you once loved and then actively distributing it. In the face of human nature, even your closest partner can turn dark and chill you to the bone. A story like this happened in Baoji City, Shaanxi Province: A man was upset because he was insulted during their breakup, so he posted screenshots of his ex-girlfriend’s sex video online, along with her name, her father’s name, and workplace. The ex-girlfriend then reported it to the police, and the matter was handled properly. If your ex threatens you with sex videos after a breakup, don’t panic, don’t be afraid, and don’t suffer in silence. You must protect your safety to the greatest extent possible .
- Don’t rush to block them; actively collect and preserve evidence.
These can serve as valid evidence: phone recordings of him threatening you ; chat screenshots containing threatening language ; and if the video has been disseminated, you need to save the disseminator’s ID, IP address, and screenshots of the content .
- Call the police immediately
China’s General Principles of Civil Law, Tort Liability Law, Public Security Administration Punishment Law, Criminal Law, and even internet management laws all regulate acts of revenge pornography. Victims can prevent the widespread dissemination of such acts by requesting the removal of posts and account suspensions, and can also report the incidents to the police to demand that the perpetrators be dealt with according to the law. In short, girls must remember: if you encounter such a situation, never try to resolve it privately ; hand it over to the police. Do not forgive out of pity , causing further harm. Use legal means to protect yourself . If it is necessary to negotiate with the other party , seek help from the police and legal professionals, avoid going alone, and choose to meet in a public place .
I know that everything in love is beautiful, but no matter how much you love the other person, don’t do anything that lowers your standards or goes against your true wishes, because if love is gone one day, all your compromises may become sharp weapons that hurt you. In addition, I would like to remind the girls that they should be cautious about their boyfriends’ excessive demands. They should not give up their principles because they are soft-hearted . If your boyfriend can use breaking up with you to blackmail you into making videos today, he will use other extreme reasons to achieve more of his goals in the future. In a relationship, no one is indispensable; it’s just a matter of who doesn’t know how to cherish whom. If he doesn’t cherish or respect you, you don’t need to give up yourself for him. You can cut your losses in time and find someone who truly loves you. I hope every girl can be treated with kindness. Good morning, I love this world.
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