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Return To ShopCouples who have lived together must be incredibly in love.
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Swimming begins
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There’s a trending topic on Weibo called “What’s it like to live with your boyfriend?”
I recently interviewed and followed a couple living together for a day.
In just 24 hours, everything except sex was witnessed: showing affection, arguing, silence, and making up.
I once watched a Hong Kong film called “Margaret and David: Green Bean,” and the narration in the first chapter went like this—
“Love is essentially a ‘three-layered blanket,’ every couple follows almost the same path. After the romance, you have to face reality, and Margaret and David have now reached that point…”
The “reality” here refers to Margaret’s decision to start living with David.
The reason it’s called “facing reality” is to illustrate that cohabitation presents a sense of contrast. For example, this is what the couple I interviewed said—
Man: I feel like I’ve found a mother, or rather, a stepmother.
(1)
I have to wake her up two hours earlier every day because she will stay in bed for an hour.
I’ll wash up an hour after she gets up, or I’ll wash up and then play video games for an hour.
Because it takes her an extra hour to do her makeup.
(2)
After being with her, I realized what true bare-faced beauty means.
When we were dating, sometimes when she wasn’t wearing lipstick, I would mistakenly think she was wearing no makeup and I was always proud of it, thinking that my girlfriend looked so good even without makeup.
Unexpectedly, I discovered the truth when I sat next to her and peeked at her putting on makeup.
It turns out that a beautiful bare face requires a layer of toner, a layer of lotion, a layer of face cream, a layer of sunscreen, a layer of foundation, a layer of blush, a layer of eyeshadow, and a layer of highlighter.
It turns out her eyebrows were fake! Her eyelashes were fake too! She even had two pieces of glass inserted into her pupils, so even her eyes were fake!
Also, her hair falls out everywhere every day, and every time she washes her hair, the drain gets clogged. How come she’s not bald yet?
(3)
What’s amazing is that she not only knows how to disguise herself, but she’s also a pager.
She calls me by my full name 300 times a day, saying things like, “xxx, are you deaf? “
And she’s always hungry. Just an hour after lunch, she’ll open Meituan to order afternoon tea, but she’ll never finish it and will stuff the leftovers into my mouth.
I felt like I was being treated like a pig.
(4)
Most importantly, after moving in together, she completely…completely forgot how to write the word “reservedness”.
When we first started dating, sometimes when I was kissing her and I tried to put my hand inside her clothes, she would always push it away, she was incredibly sensitive.
After we started living together, she would often pinch my penis a few times with lightning speed when she passed by me, and then walk away as if nothing had happened.
There are no goddesses in the world, once you’ve tried living together.
Woman: Aside from being useful for dicks, dicks are really useless for anything else.
(1)
Once, I was writing a proposal when he said he would cook for me and wouldn’t let me into the kitchen. I had to work, so I didn’t pay much attention to him. In the end, he cooked scrambled eggs with tomatoes and a bowl of noodles.
For that scrambled eggs with tomatoes, he used five large tomatoes and six eggs, making a whole basinful, without adding any sugar.
Another problem was noodles. The kind of straight egg noodles that his family bought were the kind he put a bundle of in the pot and watched it expand and absorb water. In the end, the whole pot only had sticky noodles, no water, and the bottom was burnt.
After taking a bite, I calmly asked him, “Did you put salt in it?”
He held the spatula and asked me very seriously, “Huh? Do I need to add salt?”
In the end, I didn’t get to eat anything and even had to help him with the kitchen cleanup.
For him, cooking was like a toy; he played with it once and then never cooked again.
(2)
Boys tend to selectively ignore many things.
For example, he thinks the ground is clean because there is no visible, lumpy trash like crumpled paper, so he thinks it is clean and has no feeling about the hair on the ground.
It’s none of his business if there are no tissues at home. After unpacking packages and takeout, he never throws the bags away; he just leaves them where they are.
(3)
I can’t tell if I’m his girlfriend or his phone, since he spends more time on his phone than on me.
When asked what he was doing while doing housework, he said he was replying to messages from other people. Apparently, he replies to other people’s messages instantly.
When I sent it to him, he replied half an hour later, saying he was busy and hadn’t checked his phone.
It’s terrifying. No matter how hardworking and obedient you are when you’re dating, once you live together, you become as lazy as Buddha.
(4)
Also, when he’s playing games, you should just ignore him completely.
As someone who’s been there, I’m telling you, making a scene won’t help; you don’t need to use that to prove whether he loves you or not.
All men in the world are like this.
Initially , cohabitation was to fulfill the beautiful fantasies of married life.
They go grocery shopping together after get off work, cook dinner together, and prepare clothes for each other when they take a shower.
They hold hands and go for a walk downstairs late at night to have a late-night snack, then snuggle up on the sofa together and complain about popular variety shows.
Later, when they talked about it, they forgot about the warm scene and all they could think about were the trivial arguments.
Even if cohabitation has a hundred disadvantages, they still choose to live this kind of cohabitation life.
Because the reality is that you have to recognize the true nature of love and life, kick it a couple of times, and then bow down to it.
Man: It’s not enough to just love each other; we also need to compromise.
When we first got together, whenever we argued, neither of us would back down, and we would freeze in the room without saying a word.
The room was only 30 square meters, a small single room, so small that you could hear a mosquito flying by clearly.
Then she would start packing her things to leave, and that’s when I got scared and had to stop her.
Actually, she didn’t really want to leave; she just needed a way to save face.
Men usually put on a tough front outside, but it’s pointless to put on a tough front at home. They need to admit defeat a little.
We’ve tried living apart, but after living together for so long, I start missing her even after just one day apart.
Woman: After we started living together, I learned to be oblivious.
He has many friends, and also many ex-girlfriends.
After we discussed living together, we rarely stayed in hotels anymore, so we started compiling a list of hotels we had stayed in by region.
Then he mentioned a place I had never been to.
I started pressing him for details, saying, “We’ve never been to this place before.”
He persisted, “Yes, it’s garbage, you forgot?”
I told him with certainty, “I haven’t been there.”
He thought about it for a moment, then stopped insisting and remained silent.
Girls all have a little radar in their brains; I knew what was going on the moment he mentioned the hotel name.
He went there with his ex-girlfriend; he got it wrong. I made a big deal out of it and argued with him all night, crying and making a scene. I even packed my things to leave, but he kept apologizing. We argued until after 5 a.m., when it finally got too much to do.
Such a fatal mistake would have certainly warranted being thrown into a pig cage in the past.
But that day I started to feel that after living together, there were some things that really didn’t need to be figured out. Even if I figured them out, it wouldn’t change anything, so it was better to be a little oblivious.
If marriage is the crematorium of love, then cohabitation is definitely the mirror that reveals the true nature of a relationship before marriage.
Some people, upon realizing they were demons, fled in panic.
Some people fall in love with demons and even change themselves to look like the demons they like.
As it says in “Green Bean”—
She likes to brush her teeth after eating breakfast, but he has to brush his teeth before eating breakfast. She needs the TV on to fall asleep, but he can’t fall asleep with any light on.
It’s hard to fall in love, but it’s even harder to get along. Two completely different people have to live together in the same space, and they have to accommodate, compromise, and tolerate each other.
It’s about that feeling of having someone to go home with.
Finally, there’s one more thing that’s true.
Couples who have lived together, no matter how badly they’ve seen each other, don’t easily let go of the relationship, even after breaking up.
Therefore, if you want to live with someone, you don’t necessarily need to ensure that the relationship will last 100%.
But you must have that kind of conviction that you are definitely the one.
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