What happens to couples who have premarital sex?

Xiaomei is an outstanding woman, efficient and capable at work, and has long enjoyed a high-end lifestyle that many young people envy. One day I asked her, “When do you plan to start dating?” She shook her head.

Next, she told me about her college days:

When Xiaomei first started dating, her roommates were so excited they wanted to set off fireworks to celebrate. Xiaomei, who had always been a loner and aloof, finally found love.

Her boyfriend was Li Yong, her high school classmate. After they went to college, Li Yong would come to visit her every week from a city 200 kilometers away. Of course, she knew his feelings for her.

That day, he came by train, carrying a bouquet of her favorite flowers, and knelt down on one knee amidst the cheers from downstairs at the dormitory.

Xiao Mei excitedly accepted his gift and agreed to Li Yong’s request.

For Xiaomei, being in love meant escaping loneliness. Her parents were divorced, and she had always excelled academically, a model student for her teachers. But living in the praise of others, she always felt out of place and dared not open her heart to anyone. Only Li Yong seemed to understand her loneliness.

She cherished Li Yong’s love because she didn’t want to return to a lonely life, nor did she want to let her relationship reach an irreparable point like her parents.

Previously focused solely on her studies, she began to pay attention to how to put on exquisite makeup, wear clothes that would turn heads, and make herself appear more compatible with him.

Li Yong’s friends always envied him for having a beautiful and outstanding girlfriend. Li Yong would always look at her tenderly and smile at her.

Xiaomei enjoyed the intense gaze Li Yong gave her.

Perhaps sensing her “enthusiasm,” Li Yong, who usually maintained his composure, became increasingly unrestrained in their interactions.

Li Yong couldn’t resist touching her body several times and asked her to try the forbidden fruit.

Xiaomei refused again and again, feeling it wasn’t quite right, yet she also felt that way.

Li Yong was a little puzzled. He told Xiao Mei that this was perfectly normal and that they shouldn’t let outdated principles make them unhappy.

Caught between her boyfriend’s disappointment and her own uncertainty, Xiaomei hesitated. She actually cared a lot about her boyfriend’s opinion and felt that the relationship they had worked so hard to build shouldn’t be ruined by her stubbornness.

After yet another round of persistent pleading, she gave in.

That night, she looked out the window and cried silently. Why was she crying? She couldn’t explain it. Aren’t many people like this? She just felt as if she had lost something, accompanied by a sadness that she couldn’t grasp. The feeling was very complicated.

Xiaomei comforted herself, thinking that this would probably make him love her even more.

She hid her disappointment and unease, comforting herself that they would always be together, because they had both said they would cherish each other.

Some say that pursuing a girl is like completing a task for a boy; once he gets her, he stops treasuring her. Li Yong seemed to fall into this trap, becoming less enthusiastic towards Xiaomei and increasingly impatient during conversations.

Li Yong’s growing indifference was like shattering Xiao Mei’s newly woven dream bit by bit.

She didn’t want to see Li Yong like this. She thought that if she went back to that night, she could relive Li Yong’s tenderness again and again.

After that, Xiaomei and Li Yong’s meetings became routine, going from being able to talk about anything to focusing solely on physical pleasure, as if they were trapped in a vicious cycle. Each time it ended, Li Yong would awkwardly utter a few words as if to settle accounts, comfort Xiaomei, and then leave. Xiaomei could only stare blankly as Li Yong, a completely different person before and after the encounter, hurriedly departed.

A relationship maintained by physical intimacy is ultimately like a kite whose string may break at any moment. Xiaomei struggled to maintain the relationship, even taking emergency contraception several times. Each time she took it, Li Yong would offer a few days of concern and care, interspersed with a few reproaches, and then reply to her messages very late, unable to reach her.

She asked him several times when he would marry her, but Li Yong would always make excuses, saying it wasn’t the right time yet or that he needed to focus on his career first.

Xiaomei disregarded her wounded and cold heart; all she wanted was to return to the days when she was treated gently in the beginning, to the days when he held her and firmly said that he would love her for a lifetime.

She went to find Li Yong, and downstairs at his apartment building, she saw a familiar figure embracing another girl.

There were no arguments, no tears, and Xiaomei, heartbroken and disillusioned, seemed to have been waiting for the day when she could finally let go.

Back at her place, she sent a message: Let’s break up!

The other person replied: “A voice keeps telling me that casual girls aren’t worth cherishing, and I should find someone better! I know it’s awful, but the harder I try to get closer to you, the more I want to continue searching for irresponsible love elsewhere. So, I can’t love you anymore, and I’ve lost the ability to make commitments. Perhaps, our relationship has long since become one of mutual benefit.”

This is the price I pay!

Xiaomei quietly deleted Li Yong’s contact information.

After hearing Xiaomei’s story, I felt very heavy-hearted. She must be very afraid of falling in love again because she doesn’t know what she needs to do to be sure that love exists.

Love is a serious matter. We don’t easily give away our feelings, let alone decide to spend our lives with someone.

It’s just that I don’t know when it started, but when we really have to face relationships, we become casual, like we’ve given up and broken our own principles again and again.

Perhaps we crave attention too much. Once our hearts, closed for so long, are opened, we can’t help but inflate the beautiful bubble in our relationship, thinking we can fill the emptiness in our hearts. But when the bubble bursts, what remains is an even greater emptiness.

This is a trap we fall into while lost; those things we thought were no big deal will bring us heavy pain in the days to come .

Because lust is an emptiness that can never be satisfied, it can cause us to become trapped in it and neglect the spiritual communication between us.

It’s trying to tell us that what we truly need is what we don’t yet possess. Then, it tempts us to indulge further, suggesting that if the other person can’t satisfy me, I’ll seek out other, more stimulating forms of satisfaction.

It makes us believe that the pleasure of entanglement surpasses everything, and that we can love each other forever as long as we rely on physical pleasure. It also makes girls believe that as long as they keep using their bodies to attract their partners, the partners will not leave.

But what we overlook is the key to maintaining a lifelong love. The life we experience and the difficulties we bear require not physical pleasure, but the confidence to know and accompany each other and an unwavering commitment.

However, when these relationships don’t take shape, we become more disappointed in each other and begin to question what true love really is: is it physical intimacy or something else?

We need to understand that premarital sex means placing both parties in a dangerous situation where they are not held accountable without a lifelong commitment.

When we have a reason to walk away and not care about the future, we lose hope for our future marriage and our passion for our partner. From that day on, even if we enter into marriage, it won’t feel special.

But having abandoned our principles, extricating ourselves from this situation isn’t easy. After all, before losing all passion, we had hoped that day would mark the beginning of our life together.

That’s why we feel so conflicted and in pain.

When we willingly succumb to temptation, thinking we’ve finally gained something, the truth is that we’ve actually lost.

They lost the purity and beauty of love, and they also lost the confidence to enter into a relationship again.

Darling, you don’t need to use your body to exchange for love, nor do you need to deceive yourself into thinking that is love.

When you are bound by lust and can’t help but want to get love quickly, please remind yourself that there is only harm there, and the happiness we crave is not there!

Love is commitment and giving, patience and respect.

Love makes us restrain ourselves out of respect for the other person’s body, and it prevents us from deliberately making excuses to cover up our desires. Love makes us see not just immediate satisfaction, but responsibility for the future.

She also led us to make the decision to spend our lives together through getting to know each other.

Without this kind of love, the so-called love we pursue is nothing but our imagination.

May you recognize true love, and no longer believe that love does not exist because of the disillusionment of your illusions.

Perhaps you were once caught up in the lie of living for the moment, and now you feel ashamed and regretful.

But past hurts cannot diminish your preciousness; you remain an irreplaceable creation. As you rediscover your own value, you will gradually find people around you who truly respect you, are willing to make commitments, and love you unconditionally.

We will no longer rely on physical pleasure to fill the void, but instead promise to cherish each other, build trust together, and look forward to the day we walk down the aisle.

May we wait until our wedding day, when our hearts are in perfect harmony, we make promises to each other, and give each other our most precious parts.

May we be patient in love, storing this blessing within us, which will become a precious gift for our wedding day—trust, respect, and ever-growing passion.