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Return To ShopWant the Perfect Intimacy Rhythm? This Formula Tells You
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Animals care about frequency, humans…
When intensity encounters time, the whole issue becomes frequency.
Perhaps you’ve had one, or maybe a few, experiences that made you proud, such as: fighting for three nights straight without ever losing your erection. (Even though your opponent might just be your own left hand.)
However, when you try to compare yourself with others, a quick online search will reveal countless “shooters” who score three times a night and keep pulling off hat tricks.
So, doubt, inferiority, and a little bit of anger suddenly welled up in my heart.
Actually, there’s no need to care about these things. Bluffing in terms of frequency is just a basic animal instinct, nothing more.
In the animal kingdom, the more times a man has sex, the more likely he is to impregnate a female, thus perpetuating his genes—this seems to be a reasonable logic.
But we are human beings, not monkeys or other primates, and the main purpose of sex is not to perpetuate the species.
The most important thing is to be happy while doing it. Forcing yourself to do it too frequently will actually prevent you from deriving happiness from it.
Is there an optimal frequency?
Even after realizing that it’s impossible to force it, people still have many fantasies about frequency. That’s why the “optimal frequency calculated by a formula” mentioned at the beginning of the article might appear.
However, this formula cannot be found in any medical literature, and the algorithm itself is not scientific.
A study published by Dr. Jean Twenge in the United States, which followed more than 26,000 people over 40 years, showed that the frequency of sexual activity is significantly negatively correlated with age.
Below are the research results on the average weekly frequency of sexual activity among different age groups. Please check which category you fall into.
- 18-29 years old, 1.5 times/week
- Ages 30-39, 1.5 times/week
- 40-49 years old, 1.2 times/week
- For ages 50-59, 0.7 times/week (note that age 50 is a significant dividing line).
- Ages 60-69, 0.5 times/week
- >70 years old, 0.2 times/week (This also applies to older people, but less so)
Similar data from small-sample studies of Chinese people show that, in the 20-40 age group, it is about 1.6 times per week.
However, this is just a statistic and does not mean that you must follow this standard.
As mentioned earlier, the “most” suitable frequency is not a number, but rather your feeling.
Is a higher frequency always better?
Since the purpose of sex is to feel better, are people who have sex more frequently happier than those who have sex less frequently?
A Canadian study involving more than 30,000 people gave a definitive negative answer:
A higher frequency of sexual activity does not necessarily mean greater happiness.
In fact, research suggests that couples who have sex once a week are the happiest.
Research from Carnegie Mellon University even showed that couples who tried to increase the frequency actually experienced a slight decrease in happiness after doing it twice a week compared to once a week.
Sexual intercourse is a shared physical and emotional experience for couples, and an important way to enhance their relationship. The fact that your neighbor, Old Wang, and his wife have sex seven times a week or once every seven weeks is not relevant to your experience.
The aforementioned research also confirms that frequency is not correlated with happiness. Therefore, comparing one’s frequency with others only adds unnecessary psychological burden and has no positive significance.
In daily life, one can improve the “user experience” by exploring different positions and creating a warm atmosphere.
Remember, the optimal frequency is different for every couple. Even if that partner is your left hand.
Love is the most important thing.
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