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Return To ShopSister Zhou’s Marriage Shows Men-Women Differences in Emotional Boundaries
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There’s no going back.
My colleague, Sister Zhou’s, marital experience perfectly illustrates the fundamental differences between men and women when it comes to crossing emotional boundaries. He never considered abandoning his family, pretending to be a devoted family man at home while simultaneously engaging in superficial relationships outside. He was a typical double man, wanting only to enjoy stability and excitement, never considering Sister Zhou’s feelings.
one
CHAPTER
Friday night
The day Ms. Zhou discovered it was Friday night.
Her husband said he had to go out for a business dinner and didn’t get home until after 10 p.m. He went to take a shower as soon as he got home. Ms. Zhou was folding clothes in the living room. His coat was draped over the sofa, and his phone vibrated twice in his pocket.
She didn’t intend to look at it. But the phone vibrated again, the screen lit up, and a message popped up:
“Are you home yet? You must be tired tonight, get some rest.”
The sender’s contact was “Engineer Wang.”
Ms. Zhou stared at the message for a few seconds, put the phone back in her pocket, and continued folding clothes. She folded slowly, smoothing out each wrinkle and stacking them neatly.
two
CHAPTER
Chat history
The next morning, her husband left as usual, saying there was work at the construction site. After cleaning the kitchen, Ms. Zhou turned on his computer; the password was her daughter’s birthday.
She spent three hours scrolling through the chat history.
Since last July, the name “Engineer Wang” had appeared more and more frequently. At first, it was work-related, then it became “The weather’s nice today,” “Have you eaten?” “Are you free tonight?” Later, the tone changed, becoming more tentative, more ambiguous.
Her husband’s replies were restrained, but he answered every single one.
Ms. Zhou turned off the computer and sat in the study. Birds chirped outside the window, sunlight shone on the floor, and she stared at the patch of light, sitting motionless for a long time.
“
Her husband’s replies were restrained
, but he answered every single one.
Three
CHAPTER
amusement park
That evening, her husband came home early, having even bought groceries. He cooked in the kitchen, humming a tune, while Zhou Jie stayed in the living room with her daughter as she did her homework.
“Mom, why is Dad so happy today?” her daughter asked.
“I don’t know,” Zhou Jie said, “You do your homework.”
During dinner, her husband put food on her plate and said, “I’m taking you and Nannan to the amusement park this weekend. Haven’t you always wanted to go?”
Zhou Jie chewed her food without saying anything.
“What’s wrong? Don’t you want to go?”
“Yes,” Zhou Jie said, “You decide the time.”
That weekend, they went to the amusement park. Her husband took many photos and posted them on his WeChat Moments with the caption, “Being there for each other is the longest confession of love.” In the photos, Zhou Jie was smiling, her daughter was riding on her husband’s shoulders, and the family of three looked very happy.
Zhou Jie looked at the post; there were over eighty likes. She didn’t like it, nor did she comment.
4
CHAPTER
Two months
For the next two months, she said nothing. She continued cooking, washing clothes, and taking her daughter to and from school as usual, and her tone of voice towards her husband remained unchanged. Her husband still came home late two or three days a week, and would proactively report who he had met and what projects he had discussed.
Sister Zhou listened, occasionally nodding, occasionally asking, “Are
you tired?” Her husband would say, “I’m fine, don’t worry.”
One evening at the end of October, her husband said he had to attend a business dinner. Sister Zhou was simmering soup in the kitchen when she heard him changing his shoes in the entryway. She came out carrying the soup pot.
“Wait a minute,”
her husband turned around, “What’s wrong?”
“Take this soup with you, let Engineer Wang try it.”
“
Take this soup with you
and let Engineer Wang try it.
Wu
CHAPTER
showdown
The air froze for a few seconds.
Her husband’s hand stopped on his shoelaces. He looked up at her, a flicker of panic in his eyes, but he quickly suppressed it.
“What Engineer Wang?”
“The one on your phone,” Sister Zhou said. “We’ve been chatting for over a year, we should be pretty close.”
Her husband stood up, his expression shifting several times before settling on a helpless smile.
“You’ve misunderstood,” he said. “Engineer Wang is the designer for our project, it’s work-related, you’re overthinking it.”
“Oh.” Sister Zhou placed the soup pot on the entryway cabinet. “Then explain, on September 15th last year at 11 pm, you told her, ‘The moon is very round tonight, I want to watch it with you,’ what kind of work was that?”
Her husband’s face paled.
“And on October 23rd, you said, ‘This project is finished, I’ll invite you to the beach,’ was that also work?”
“I didn’t want a divorce. I just… I don’t know why, I just felt life was too mundane. I wanted to find something different. But I never thought about leaving this family; I have responsibilities to you and Nannan.”
“You never thought about destroying this family,” Sister Zhou repeated, “But did you think about me?”
land
CHAPTER
Twelve years
“Every time you came home late, I waited for you. You said you were out socializing, and I believed you. I heated up your food, made you tea, and asked if you were tired. Do you know what I was thinking then?”
Her husband remained silent.
“I was thinking, ‘Is he drunk again? Be careful driving.’ I was thinking, ‘He works so hard for this family.'” Sister Zhou’s voice was calm. “I never imagined that there was another person waiting for you outside, another person thinking of you.” “I’m sorry
.” “
How much is your apology worth?” Sister Zhou asked. “How much is my twelve years of trust worth?”
Her husband lowered his head and remained silent.
Sister Zhou turned and went back to the kitchen, turned off the stove, took off her apron, folded it, and placed it on the stove. She went back to the bedroom, took a suitcase from the closet, and began to pack her clothes.
“
How much is your apology worth?
How much is my twelve years of trust worth?
7
CHAPTER
Mom’s house
She packed quickly, taking only a few changes of clothes. Her husband stood at the door, watching her drag her suitcase out, wanting to say something, but ultimately said nothing.
Sister Zhou went to her mother’s house. Her mother asked her what happened, and she said she had argued with her husband and would be going back in a few days.
That night, she lay in the bed she had slept in as a child, staring at the ceiling. She remembered the year they got married, when her husband was still working on a construction site, coming home covered in dust every night. She would fetch water for him to wash his feet, and he would say that when he had money, he would definitely give her a good life.
Now he had money.
She closed her eyes, not crying.
Three days later, her husband called, saying that their daughter missed her and asked when she was coming home.
“Let the daughter answer the phone,”
her daughter’s voice came through: “Mom, when are you coming back?”
“Soon,” Sister Zhou said, “Listen to Dad at home.”
“Mom, are you and Dad getting a divorce?”
Sister Zhou was stunned: “Who told you that?”
“I heard Dad on the phone in the study, saying you wanted a divorce.”
Sister Zhou didn’t speak.
“Mommy, please don’t divorce Daddy, okay? I’ll be good.”
“Daughter, this isn’t your fault,” said Aunt Zhou. “Go do your homework first, Mommy will be back in a couple of days.”
eight
CHAPTER
go home
After hanging up the phone, Sister Zhou sat on the edge of the bed, looking out the window. It was getting dark, and the streetlights were coming on one by one.
She thought for a long time, and finally decided to go back.
When her husband opened the door, his eyes were red; he looked like he hadn’t slept well for the past few days.
“You’re back.”
“Yes.”
“I’ve made it clear to her that we won’t contact each other again.”
Sister Zhou went inside, put her suitcase in the entryway, changed her shoes, and went to the kitchen to boil water.
“Do you believe me?” her husband asked, following her.
Sister Zhou looked at the kettle, waiting for the water to boil.
“I don’t know,” she said, “but I had to come back; Nannan needs her mother.”
The water boiled, and she poured two glasses, handing one to him.
“Come home earlier from now on,” she said, “I don’t want to wait anymore.”
Her husband took the glass and nodded.
That night, they slept in the same bed, a great distance between them. Sister Zhou had her back to him, listening to his breathing, and couldn’t fall asleep until dawn.
She knew some things could never be changed. But she also knew she had no other choice.
✦ In closing ✦
That night they slept in the same bed,
but with a great distance between them.
She knew some things were gone forever
, but she also knew she had no other choice.
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