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I’m so angry about what happened today that I have to speak out. Now, should I leave or stay? It’s true, I’m getting old and don’t want to remarry. I know everyone here is a good person, and I know I was wrong. Can you please help me?
01
Where is there any such thing as marriage before love?
Let me give you a brief account of my first marriage, which lasted for about two years.
Because my first husband was introduced to me by someone else, I naturally had no feelings for him. I thought that after marriage, feelings would slowly develop! But a year after we got married, I still wasn’t pregnant. My husband and I didn’t have any feelings for each other to begin with, and with my mother-in-law’s instigation, we had small arguments every two days and big arguments every three days. Then one time, my mother-in-law was talking badly about me to my husband when I happened to come back from outside and overheard it. I started yelling at her, and then my husband yelled at me too. I got so angry that I picked up a stool and threw it at her.
This thing doesn’t seem to have eyes. It was meant to scare them, but it hit my mother-in-law’s leg, and she immediately squatted down.
I didn’t do it on purpose, but my husband got angry and knocked me to the ground. I was so angry that I grabbed him with my hands, but he grabbed my hands and then I kicked him. That’s when I accidentally kicked him in the wrong place. All I heard was a donkey braying. And that’s how my first marriage came to an end.
02
Being a stepmother is tough
Later, I met my second husband and married him quickly. My second husband was also remarried, but we were different in that he had a son while I had no children.
You wouldn’t believe how disobedient his son is. He’s always causing trouble for me, finding fault with everything I do, and always thinks I’m the one who drove his mother away.
When I first arrived at his house, I called out to that kid who was laughing, and he gave me a sideways look. I felt uncomfortable just looking at him. Later, all sorts of little things caused a lot of conflicts between me and this kid.
To get revenge on me, one morning before his dad and I were even out of bed, he sneaked into our bedroom and tried to take my pajamas and shoes.
When I discovered it, I immediately got up to grab it, but then I realized I wasn’t wearing any clothes, and I was incredibly embarrassed. So I slapped him twice . His father, seeing this, slapped me twice more and then threw me to the ground. He divorced me for his son’s sake. Don’t you think my son deserved a beating? Isn’t it right for me to discipline the child? What if he goes out and steals after that? I was doing this for his own good, and he doesn’t appreciate it.
03
After the darkest hour comes the dawn.
By chance, I met my third husband. This third husband didn’t have any children and didn’t live with his mother. At the time, I thought it was great. There was no mother-in-law’s obstruction, nor his own children to hinder us. I felt that this was perfect. No one was in our way, and I could finally marry him and live a comfortable life. Soon I got pregnant and gave birth to a child. My mother-in-law came to help me take care of the baby. The plan was that my mother-in-law would take care of the baby while I found a job.
I had never worked before, and it’s hard to find a job in this environment. So when I couldn’t find one, my husband suggested that I stay home and take care of the kids while he earned money. My mother-in-law and I took care of the kids, and we had a lot of free time, so we went to play mahjong.
04
The days of reckless behavior after drinking are unpleasant.
I met a man who was 8 years older than me while playing the Great Wall. We often played the Great Wall together, and over time, he would sometimes step on my feet or touch my legs under the table , and we became familiar with each other. Later, he would often give me little surprises, such as buying me clothes, shoes, or jewelry. These were things that my husband never did, and I was very happy.
Once, my refrigerator broke down. I tried to fix it but couldn’t, so I called my husband. He said he was at work and didn’t have time, so he told me to find someone to fix it. I don’t know why, but I remembered my older brother. I sent him a message, and he arrived shortly after. He fixed it in no time. It was lunchtime, and since he had helped me so much and didn’t charge me, I invited him to stay for lunch.
We were talking about the food in the refrigerator, which would spoil if we didn’t eat it, so I invited my older brother to eat at home. At first, he refused, but after I kept urging him, he agreed to stay for a meal. It was quite hot when we were eating, so we drank some Erguotou (a type of Chinese liquor) while we ate. After drinking a little, we got a bit tipsy.
This guy started touching me inappropriately.
At first I refused, but later I half-heartedly went along with it, and then something unexpected happened. You wouldn’t believe it, even though he’s eight years older than me, he’s incredibly skilled . After that, he started coming to our house every few days. We live quite close, and he’d come whenever my husband was out. I kept telling him not to come, afraid my husband would find out, but he wouldn’t listen. He threatened me, saying if I stopped him from coming, he’d tell my husband about our relationship. How can I get rid of this guy? My husband doesn’t know about our affair yet. Can you give me some advice? How can I make this marriage work and get rid of him? Otherwise, my marriage is doomed.
This isn’t my fault, is it? I was just drunk and messing around. I never thought I’d get taken advantage of. Now I just want to live a normal life. Does anyone have any good ideas?
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