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Return To ShopTraditional Intimacy Taboos: 4 Powerful Words From the Ancients
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As the ancients said, food and sex are human nature.
Sex is the second most basic physiological need for humans, as essential as eating.
Similarly, just as there are taboos regarding diet, there are also taboos regarding sexual relations between men and women. And some of the insights of the ancients on this issue still seem quite reasonable today.
For example, Li Pengfei of the Yuan Dynasty wrote in his “Three Elements Longevity Advisor’s Book”: “Desires should not be extinguished, desires should not be premature, desires should not be indulged, desires should not be forced…”
“Absolute, early, indulgent, forceful” —these four simple words encapsulate the taboos that so many people commit in their sex lives. How insightful!
In case anyone can’t grasp its essence in a second, I’ll break it down step by step below~
Desire cannot be extinguished
“绝” means to sever or cut off. “Desire cannot be severed” reveals the necessity and importance of sexual life.
From the perspectives of sex medicine, sex psychology, and sex sociology, men and women of sexual age who maintain a harmonious and regular sex life can reap the following benefits:
① It stimulates the secretion of sex hormones, which can delay aging to some extent;
② It calms people down and helps them fall asleep;
③ Increases the secretion of endorphins, stimulates feelings of pleasure, and enhances disease resistance;
④ To enable the immune system to function fully;
⑤ It can stimulate the nervous system and make the senses more acute;
⑥ It helps maintain women’s breast health;
⑦ It can keep the male prostate gland open and improve blood circulation, which helps prevent prostate inflammation and enlargement;
⑧ Reduce feelings of anxiety, depression, and tension;
9. Relax your tense mind and body and stimulate your psychological potential;
⑩ Strengthen the bond between partners.
In short, a harmonious and regular sex life has many benefits, so those who have the opportunity shouldn’t easily reject this worldly desire.
Desire should not be premature
“Early” refers to early marriage. The saying “One should not marry too early” discusses the drawbacks of early marriage.
Of course, this is the original meaning. However, placing “desire should not be premature” in the current context can be interpreted as meaning that it is not advisable to engage in sexual activity too early .
Traditional medicine believes that “if a man deflowers too early, it will damage his essence and vital energy; if a woman deflowers too early, it will damage her blood vessels.”
Modern medicine also advocates that men and women should not start having sex at too young an age.
Young men and women are not only still developing physically, but also lack or have incomplete sexual knowledge.
Prematurely tasting forbidden fruit will not only affect growth and development, but also cause further damage to the body.
For girls—
Engaging in sexual activity before the sexual organs are fully developed can easily lead to infections and diseases of the reproductive system, such as vaginitis and fallopian tube blockage.
If hygiene is not maintained properly or necessary protection is lacking, bacteria and viruses can invade the body, leading to gynecological diseases such as vaginitis, urethritis, and pelvic inflammatory disease. In severe cases, it can even lead to infection with various sexually transmitted diseases, such as syphilis and HIV.
In addition, there is the risk of unintended pregnancy. Young girls are often too young to bear this responsibility, making abortion their only option.
However, an abortion can cause lifelong damage.
After an abortion, symptoms such as thinning of the uterine lining, endocrine disorders, irregular menstruation, endometrial adhesions, fallopian tube adhesions, pelvic inflammatory disease, and even anovulation and infertility may occur.
The most alarming aspect is that engaging in sexual activity too early is a high-risk factor for cervical cancer. Women who have their first sexual intercourse before the age of 16 are particularly at high risk.
For men—
Due to a lack of hygiene and safety awareness, reproductive infections can easily occur, prematurely triggering male diseases such as prostatitis and scrotal itching.
In addition, a lack of sexual knowledge and psychological stress can make it easy for men to fail in their first or early sexual encounters, which can affect their mental health and even cause serious trauma, leading to physiological disorders such as impotence and premature ejaculation.
If the woman becomes pregnant, the man will also experience psychological stress and burden. If the problem remains unresolved, he will live in constant anxiety; even if it is resolved, he may still suffer psychological trauma.
So, at what age is it considered too early to start having sex?
Actually, there is no clear standard.
To determine whether sexual activity is premature, one must consider not only physiological age but also whether the individual is psychologically prepared and capable of bearing all the consequences.
Desires should not be indulged
“Zong” means to indulge. “Yu ke bu zong” means one should not indulge in desires.
The dangers of excessive indulgence are something that most people are aware of to some extent.
The most direct consequence is that both men and women experience discomfort such as muscle soreness, dizziness, lethargy, and fatigue. Over time, this can develop into loss of appetite, mental confusion, and swelling or injury to the genital area.
In addition, for men, it can easily cause or aggravate symptoms such as decreased libido, painful ejaculation, premature ejaculation, weak ejaculation, and even induce impotence.
For women, it can also cause gynecological diseases such as urinary tract infections, cervicitis, pelvic inflammatory disease, and excessive vaginal discharge, and even increase the risk of cervical cancer.
Since people shouldn’t indulge in excessive sexual activity, how many times a week is it appropriate to have sex?
In fact, there is no precise standard.
First, there are individual differences between people, and they live in different environments.
Secondly, even for the same person, the frequency of sexual activity often varies due to factors such as physical condition, physical strength, mental stress, emotional changes, workload, and changes in living environment.
Therefore, the number of times a week one should have sex cannot be generalized. Rather than frequency, people should pay more attention to whether their sex life is moderate.
How to determine if sexual activity is appropriate?
Sexologists believe that the sign of moderation in sexual activity is that both partners feel refreshed and relaxed afterward.
If you experience a series of physical discomforts after sexual activity that affect your normal life and work, it suggests that you have been indulging yourself and it’s time to take a break!
After all this talk, I imagine many people are still fixated on that number of times, so let me share some data.
According to relevant survey results, the frequency of sexual activity for men and women in my country is approximately as follows: ↓
Of course, you can use this table as a general reference, but don’t take it too seriously.
In life, partners may have different levels of sexual desire, and both should work together to adjust the frequency of their sex life in order to achieve a happy and harmonious relationship.
Desires should not be forced.
“Forced” here means reluctantly. “Desire should not be forced” specifically means that one should not overestimate one’s abilities and force oneself to have sex beyond one’s physical capabilities.
This should be easy to understand, right?
First of all, people suffering from illness should never disregard their own health and force themselves to have sex.
Secondly, even among healthy individuals, if either partner is in poor physical, mental, or psychological condition, it can affect their performance in sexual activity.
The most embarrassing result of forcing things is that you might not be able to perform well—either you can’t get an erection or you finish quickly and inadequately.
Moreover, forcing oneself to have sex when physically exhausted or overworked can lead to a series of physical discomforts, such as dizziness, headaches, and shortness of breath. In severe cases, it may cause erectile dysfunction (ED, commonly known as impotence), especially psychogenic ED.
Furthermore, forcing sexual intercourse can easily cause resentment in the other party and affect the relationship.
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