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Return To ShopMarried Men and Women Don’t Need Opposite-Sex Friends
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I stumbled upon a question today: Do married men and women still need friends of the opposite sex?The answers were almost unanimously positive, with various arguments suggesting that married men and women still need friends of the opposite sex. Most responses focused on the concepts of “friends” and “friendship,” while a few emphasized the importance of maintaining appropriate boundaries in friendships with the opposite sex.One answer made me really uncomfortable. It basically said that married men and women need friends of the opposite sex because disagreements and conflicts are inevitable in marriage, and people of the opposite sex are more willing to listen and know how to comfort others than people of the same sex. Therefore, married men and women need someone of the opposite sex to confide in.I don’t know what everyone thinks of this viewpoint, but I personally find this kind of thinking really scary. If the purpose of having friends of the opposite sex is this, then it’s better not to have any at all.
For married people, relationships with the opposite sex can be anything, but there are no purely platonic friendships.
How many people in this mortal world possess a pure heart? How many can remain unmoved by temptation? Desire fills everyone’s heart.Marriage is primarily about responsibility, while love is primarily about pleasing others. Most marriages end in the fading of romance. The way married couples interact is completely different from how they date before marriage.From the moment a married couple decides to walk hand in hand, they should understand that they are no longer alone, and they should always remember to respect their marriage and their partner in everything they do and in every decision they make.Humans are emotional beings, and it is inevitable that feelings will develop between men and women if they spend a long time as friends.Feelings are not something that willpower can control. When feelings run deep, desire will dominate everything, and even if the body does not cross the line, it is difficult to avoid having improper thoughts in one’s mind.For married people, relationships with the opposite sex can be anything, but there are no purely platonic friendships. Not deceiving yourself is a sign of respect for yourself and for your marriage.
Not being “friends” with the opposite sex doesn’t mean isolating yourself from the world and never having any contact with them again.
Married people not making friends with members of the opposite sex does not mean they should isolate themselves from the world and never have contact with members of the opposite sex again.Humans are social animals; society consists mainly of men and women. Therefore, it’s impossible to spend one’s entire life interacting only with people of the same sex. People of the opposite sex can be colleagues, clients, or service providers. These relationships have clear boundaries, except for friendship, where the boundaries are less defined.There is no such thing as pure emotion in the adult world. This statement may sound bleak, but it is the truth. There will always be ulterior motives in human relationships, even among the closest of family and loved ones.Opposite-sex individuals with clearly defined interests and mutually beneficial partnerships can certainly work together. What’s worrisome is someone of the opposite sex who appears to be indifferent and without desires. If they say they want to be friends with you, or consider you a “soulmate,” be wary.If you can’t even fully understand yourself, how can you understand others? To know yourself, first understand yourself.
There is no such thing as pure friendship between men and women, let alone between married men and women.
As human beings, we should understand a basic principle: in this world, there is no one else we can truly rely on but ourselves. You can trust others, but you cannot depend on them.Whether it’s economic or emotional dependence, it will eventually make you lose control of your own life.If you’ve suffered injustice in your marriage and are unable to process your emotions and adjust your state on your own, you can confide in a same-sex friend, talk to your siblings or parents, or even seek help from a paid therapist. If all else fails, it’s better to end the marriage than to pour your heart out to a friend of the opposite sex and vent your frustrations.During the course of a marriage, couples should never confide in or seek comfort from a member of the opposite sex when they have disagreements. This is not only dangerous, but also disrespectful to oneself, one’s partner, the marriage, and even to that so-called friend of the opposite sex.There’s been a lot of discussion online about whether pure friendship between men and women is possible. In my opinion, that’s a really self-deceiving question.The questioner’s desired answer is obvious: they want someone to agree that “pure friendship between men and women is possible.” It’s like a woman asking a man, “Do you love me?” She doesn’t want an answer; she’s just seeking agreement.
What I want to say in this article today is just one sentence: There is no such thing as pure friendship between men and women, let alone married men and women. Please don’t deceive yourselves and bury your heads in the sand.
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