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Return To ShopEmotional Needs in Relationships: Men vs. Women
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Men and women can be considered two different kinds of animals, and their needs in relationships will also differ.
Women generally have six emotional needs in relationships: care, understanding, respect, loyalty, consideration, and comfort.
Women are naturally more sensitive and perceptive than men, which means they have a strong capacity for empathy from birth. Therefore, if you observe women in real life, you will find that they are more likely to form groups.
When women face a situation, they usually express their emotions and feelings.
Whether it’s girls holding hands to go to the restroom together when they’re in school, or wives sitting together chatting about everyday life after marriage, these behaviors prove that women believe the way to build closer relationships is through sharing and communication.
The more two people share and communicate, the closer their relationship is; conversely, the less they share, the less close their relationship is.
This also explains why so many women are “aloof goddesses” when being pursued by men, but immediately turn into “talkative lunatics” once a relationship is established. It’s because they feel that the two of them have a very close relationship, so they can talk about anything.
At the same time, she will judge her own worth in the relationship by how closely you communicate. This is why when a man sends the signal that he wants to be alone, a woman’s first reaction is often, “You don’t love me anymore.”
Because in their underlying logic, if you cut off the communication channels, it means you are isolating me, you don’t want to maintain a close relationship with me, and you don’t love me anymore.
Therefore, what women need emotionally is to establish a very close communication mechanism with you, and to enjoy the process and feeling of this communication, because I can feel whether I am loved through this process.
What are men’s emotional needs?
Boys generally have these 6 emotional needs: trust, acceptance, gratitude, praise, recognition, and encouragement.
Men are different from women. Men tend to have weaker empathy and are more concerned with efficiency and results.
To give a simple example, when couples travel together and get lost, women usually prefer to ask passersby for directions. Men, on the other hand, generally don’t. They tend to look at maps or use navigation themselves, and may even stop their girlfriends from asking for directions because they feel that asking for help is a sign of their incompetence, and they are unwilling to accept the outcome of being incapable.
Therefore, men behave in the opposite way to women in intimate relationships. Men talk a lot when pursuing women, but once the relationship is established, they become taciturn. It’s not that they don’t love them anymore, but that they feel they have achieved their goal and there is no need to waste time and energy on this.
Therefore, men’s emotional needs are mostly about addressing issues and solving problems. Since we have already established a relationship, this role and identity is proof of our love for each other. If there are conflicts, we resolve them. If there are no conflicts, we can focus our energy on what we want to do. There is no need to be together all the time.
The different emotional needs of men and women lead to completely opposite attitudes toward conflicts.
When faced with a situation, men typically express authority and control.
In other words, when discussing something, he simply tells you that it is a decision he has made, rather than seeking your consent. He wants to emphasize that he has the right to establish a relationship, and he also has the right to terminate it, and that this right is independent of the will of others.
Men’s confidence often comes from women’s admiration, and they feel powerful when others admire them; while women need to find a sense of existence and security in a man’s pampering.
When faced with the different emotional needs of men and women, we should know that we should give men 50% understanding and women 100% love.
If a girl gives a boy her full love, she is likely to lose herself and become insecure. Instead, she should love him 50% and use the other 50% to understand him, comfort him when he is vulnerable, and save face for him when he acts like a chauvinist.
Guys, make sure you give your girlfriends the best love. Let love solve all the problems that can’t be solved. You don’t need to understand everything beneath her icy exterior. Just listen attentively when she complains, comfort her when she’s angry, and let her be completely immersed in your love. So, arguing about right and wrong or winning and losing is not as good as giving her a hug.
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