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Return To Shop“Erotica”: Women Talking About Desire = Empowerment
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“But we’ve come this far, darling,” adult film star Anne Sprinkle said to the screen with a smile.
More than 20 years later, she recalled that when she first started making adult films, the acting techniques she was taught were patriarchal, using a male perspective and a male mind to imagine sex. In that era, many people didn’t believe that women could have orgasms, and some didn’t even know where the clitoris was.
However, what exactly is female sex and orgasm?
In the documentary “Erotica: A Journey of Female Desire,” the director constantly has women in various settings speak, using the camera to film their manner of speaking, as well as their eyes and close-ups, as if suggesting the various possibilities for women to overturn the male gaze.
“When I was exploring sexuality, the first thing I realized was that I was a voyeur.” – Lesbian photographer Phyllis Christopher.
The woman’s gaze has always been there, but you have ignored it or avoided talking about it; however, the sensual journey unfolding in her eyes is eternal, unwavering, and even somewhat destructive.
A mother is not a lover
The film opens with a shot of the music video for rapper Angelique’s “I Want.” The song is about a girl longing for sex and how she flirts with her boyfriend verbally. However, Angelique says that female singers are not allowed to mention sex in their lyrics. So whenever she writes, people start talking; society expects you to be an innocent girl, and you should act like an innocent girl.
People like to categorize women like this: either a virtuous saint who stays at home, or a promiscuous and wicked prostitute. I’m not the kind of obedient girl you’re looking for; my uncontrollability makes you think of a terrifying witch. But what are you afraid of?
“Because talking about sexuality is a form of empowerment,” said Elena Raines, author of *The Woman Who Fell in Love with the Butcher*.
Men, fearing a loss of power, thus weaken women; much like the clichéd plot in superhero movies—there must always be a frail, helpless woman waiting for a hero to appear and save the world, bringing peace. Thus, in a world of gender inequality, women are simultaneously rendered intellectually deficient, rendered speechless, and even have their desires suppressed or forbidden.
Nobody cares about my sex life.
However, desire always exists. As girls grow up, they simultaneously experience societal expectations of their behavior and the hormones that gradually rise with puberty. They experience both the pleasure and shame of their first masturbation; their first period is an indelible scar, and the strong scent leaves a deep mark of sin on their bodies.
Some women, however, feel punished after their first time, facing the darkness of their lives. “He was a guy I’d liked for years. But I felt… he wasn’t quite what I expected. He finished in a couple of seconds. I was left sitting alone on the floor, completely terrified.” “That experience became a kind of traumatic one for me during my adolescence,” said Lorneline Pusdough, an amateur erotic novelist.
Because no one teaches them, no one talks to them about sex.
“I started thinking about sex seriously to figure out why I was lying there. Shouldn’t I feel great?” Singer Angelique talked about how, when she first started having sex, she didn’t feel comfortable. She tried asking her partner, “Are you happy? I’m not.” He said, “Why? Didn’t you ‘come’?”
“Where to?” Lick was filled with doubt.
Society wants to define women, but women cannot be defined.
The film mentions that some people say women’s sexual awakening comes later; compared to men’s vigorous youth, women’s strongest sexual desire occurs after the age of 30. I don’t know if this conclusion is related to society’s long-term suppression of women’s sexual desire and standards of sexiness; we always have to go through a long period of trauma and self-examination before we can truly approach our first orgasm.
“Modern culture keeps women busy worrying about things they don’t really need to think about, like aging,” says feminist pornographic director Candida Royal, who sees this as a destructive aspect of societal culture. Beauty has standards, and those standards are singular. Beauty has an expiration date. “The images of Playboy girls or Barbie dolls are deeply ingrained in our minds, and it’s difficult to break free; everyone tells us that’s what’s sexy,” emphasizes adult film actress Anne. This has been going on for a long time; however, the standards of female bodies in these sexy magazines and pornographic films are actually constructed under the patriarchal male gaze.
“But a woman’s sexiness is actually much more complex.” She disagreed.
Thus, the film documents how writers, filmmakers, photographers, and performers each try to practice or verify female sensuality and desire in their own ways.
Women’s desires are complex, diverse, and subtle; their lives are built upon daily trivialities, their time cycles cyclically like menstruation, and the pain and pleasure in their lives find a space for reconciliation through repeated cycles.
“I used to feel ashamed of my sexual fantasies until I realized it was okay. So I went out and found someone to indulge in those fantasies with. And I really got unexpected results… my sexual desires were no longer dominated by these fantasies.” – Candida Royal, a pioneer of feminist pornography.
They say that a woman who maintains enthusiasm and enjoys the pleasure of her own body is beautiful.
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