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Return To ShopUnspoken Conversations: What Often Goes Unsaid About Desire and Intimacy in Relationships
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In many marriages, sex is dominated by the man, with the woman in a “subordinate” position. In fact, women’s understanding of sex may exceed men’s expectations, especially married women. They have many thoughts about sex but are often ashamed to express them. To address this, the British newspaper *The Guardian* surveyed thousands of women and summarized some of the things women most want to tell their men about sex.
Women don’t like men engaging in “protracted warfare”.
Most men believe that the longer the duration, the stronger their sexual prowess. However, when women enjoy sexual pleasure, they value thoughtful details and care. If a man goes at it for an hour without any new techniques, the woman lying on top may already be bored. Physiologically speaking, the vagina’s ability to maintain lubrication is limited, and prolonged sex can actually “slowly lose its pleasure.” Psychologically, women prefer their men to linger afterward rather than fall asleep exhausted.
Women know that some sex positions come from pornography.
Men often try to apply techniques from pornography to real sex, believing it will enhance their pleasure. However, most scenes in pornography are more for show than for real sex. Sex is a holistic experience; fancy moves don’t increase pleasure. Women often want to tell him: “Honey, let’s focus less on imitation and more on intimacy.”
She knew how to bring herself to orgasm.
If a man’s efforts are ineffective, he might as well ask her. Many women with sexual experience know their own bodies well, know where they are more sensitive, and where they need stimulation.
Women don’t need to reach orgasm every time they have sex.
Men are always very concerned about whether a woman reaches orgasm. Actually, it’s perfectly normal for women not to experience orgasm during actual intercourse. A woman’s ability to achieve orgasm has little to do with the duration of intercourse or the size of the penis; it’s mainly related to how she achieves it. More caressing and clitoral stimulation can yield surprising results.
Sometimes a woman moans to encourage a man.
Many women increase the volume of their moans during sex because they know deep down that men enjoy the feeling of conquest. But men also need to learn to reciprocate and acknowledge their partner’s feelings.
Women often want to discuss sexual techniques with their partners.
Obviously, no single sex technique works for every woman, so communication between both partners is crucial. However, getting a woman to initiate sex can be difficult, which is where a man’s patience and understanding are essential. Find an appropriate moment to guide her to express her thoughts. Even if she feels deeply hurt, the man shouldn’t overreact; after all, it takes immense courage for her to do so, and this is the first step towards a harmonious sex life.
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