Understanding Women’s Intimate Health & Self-Care: Breaking Common Myths

Chinese women still struggle to confront their own sexual needs. It’s a fact that women find it harder to achieve orgasm than men during sex; less than 25% of women achieve vaginal orgasm, and some girls don’t even know what an orgasm feels like. However, compared to male masturbation, female masturbation is more easily perceived as disgusting, shameful, taboo, and dirty. There are indeed many prejudices surrounding female masturbation, and we’ll discuss them openly this time.

More than half of women feel ashamed of pleasing themselves.

Last year, I watched a gem of an American TV series—Sex Education. It was quite explicit, but it didn’t descend into vulgarity. It conveyed positive values in a lighthearted and entertaining way.

The male protagonist, Otis, has a mother who is a sex and relationship therapist. He learned a great deal of related knowledge from his mother from a young age.

She and her classmate Maeve opened an underground sex clinic, offering paid services to their classmates to resolve their various sexual problems. Some people can’t ejaculate during sex; some are so addicted to masturbation that they even masturbate during class; lesbian couples can’t really get into the act during sex; some people think of the Queen of England when they orgasm; and some loving couples argue about whether to turn off the lights when they have sex.

One of the girls, Amy, is a cheerful person with a “service personality.” She always prioritizes meeting the needs of others, but doesn’t know what she truly wants.
During sex, she often tries to appear to enjoy it, even faking orgasms. She will always ask her boyfriend questions like, “Do you want me to ejaculate on my face or my breasts?” She consistently chooses to fake it to satisfy her boyfriend’s desires and interests. Until her boyfriend saw through her and told her: Girls also need to enjoy sex, what do you want?

This question stumped Amy. She had never thought about what she wanted in sex, and no one had ever asked her this question before.

Faced with Amy, who was always “pretending” to be “giving,” Otis suggested that she masturbate to help her find a feeling that she could truly enjoy. Amy’s first reaction was to refuse, finding it “disgusting”.
However, Amy ultimately decided to bravely explore her body and masturbated all night. When she found her erogenous zones, a new world opened up for her. The next time, she openly told her boyfriend how to help her achieve pleasure, and truly enjoyed the beauty of sex.

Amy resolved her troubles and became more poised and confident in her interactions with others. After understanding “what I want,” she shed her hypocritical and demanding friends and started interacting openly and honestly with her true friends, no longer afraid of what others thought. One of the attitudes conveyed by this drama is to move beyond confusion and towards acceptance and self-confrontation. Behind sexual and physiological problems, the root cause is often emotional or psychological issues. Amy’s problem is the most common, much like many girls in real life—the inability to face their own sexual needs. It has been proven that women have a harder time achieving orgasm than men during sex; less than 25% of women achieve orgasm through the vagina, and some girls don’t even know what an orgasm feels like.

However, compared to male masturbation, female masturbation is more likely to be considered disgusting, shameful, taboo, and dirty. Food and sex are human nature, and people cannot ignore normal physiological needs. A survey found that 95% of Chinese women have masturbated, but more than half of them feel ashamed of pleasing themselves. No one would openly discuss female masturbation, not even close girlfriends. There are indeed many prejudices about female masturbation, so let’s discuss them openly this time.

Chinese women still cannot face up to their own sexual needs.

Many guys are curious and ask girls if they masturbate, as they often feel that girls have a lukewarm attitude towards sex. This is an illusion. But it’s normal to have doubts, after all, even women themselves can’t face their own sexual needs. In terms of masturbation behavior, women usually achieve masturbation in several ways: stimulating the clitoris with their fingers, using toys for assistance, or squeezing their legs together, etc. The pleasure of female orgasm through masturbation is stronger and more likely to occur than during intercourse. For many women, masturbation is an important way to achieve orgasm, and they can easily reach orgasm in just a few minutes. Studies have shown that women of all ages masturbate.

More than half of women aged 18-49 have masturbated in the past 90 days. The masturbation rate among single women reaches 94.1% per month, with some even masturbating several times a week. One-third of women aged 60-69 have recently engaged in pleasurable behaviors. They may physically enjoy the pleasure of masturbation, but psychologically they may not. Most women worry about whether frequent masturbation is harmful to their health, what will happen if others find out, and what their boyfriends will think of them, among other things. A 17-year-old high school student named Lili had always been a good student in the eyes of her teachers. However, her grades declined due to staying up late and suffering from insomnia, so her parents took her to see a doctor for help.
Upon questioning, it was discovered that the reason was masturbation. The girl felt guilty about masturbating and had been trying to quit, but the more she tried to quit, the greater the psychological pressure became, and the less she could quit. Distress, shame, guilt… all sorts of emotions were mixed in with her feelings. Female masturbation is like a taboo topic, and women have been unfairly blamed for many things.
Why is this happening? 1. Social pressure: Female masturbation is a sign of a lack of self-respect.
Sex is a means of human reproduction. Masturbation, which is purely devoid of the function of reproduction, is traditionally considered a sign of promiscuity and a lack of self-respect. This leads to the stigmatization of female masturbation.

2. Female self-denial: Social attitudes towards female masturbation can significantly influence how women view masturbation. Women are also influenced by societal prejudices and may feel ashamed of masturbation. “I’ve been masturbating for three years. I can’t help myself every time, and then I feel so ashamed afterward. I feel like nobody around me does it, and I feel like an outsider. I’m so afraid of what my boyfriend will think of me if he finds out. I’m also afraid that the people around me will look down on me. What should I do?” A 22-year-old woman couldn’t help but post on Weibo for help: she has a very strong sex drive and often masturbates, but she is a well-behaved girl in life and is troubled by masturbation.

3. Physical concerns: Will excessive masturbation cause my genitals to darken? Will there be a risk of infection? Will it reduce sensitivity? Many people’s prejudices against masturbation also stem from its impact on appearance. Social prejudices include the belief that excessive masturbation and sexual intercourse will cause “black fungus” (a term used to describe a woman’s vulva), lead to gynecological diseases, and reduce sexual sensitivity. These ideas are completely wrong. The deposition of pigment in a woman’s vulva is related to sex hormones. As women age, estrogen levels remain stable, and pigment deposition will occur.
This is a normal physical phenomenon. Boys can also get darker, and it has nothing to do with the frequency of friction or masturbation.

Masturbation is the safest form of sex. As long as you pay attention to hygiene and safety and it doesn’t affect your mental state, the risk of contracting sexually transmitted diseases is almost zero. You won’t get vaginitis, urinary tract infections, or other gynecological diseases.
Masturbation does not reduce sensitivity. It is important to know that the organ responsible for orgasm in women is the clitoris. Most sexual pleasure during sex comes from friction on the clitoris. The speed at which orgasm is reached is related to the current situation and the degree of self-indulgence.
4. Concerns about virginity: Will female masturbation damage the hymen? Female masturbation does not necessarily require deep penetration. Stimulating the clitoris and exploring sensitive areas of the body can lead to orgasm without breaking the hymen.

5. Pressure from male partners “My boyfriend said, ‘I’ve never seen you be very proactive or enjoy it much before. I didn’t expect you to secretly buy a vibrator behind my back. Do you think I can’t satisfy you? Are you questioning my ability?’ He found out and I felt ashamed.” Some men feel offended and unable to tolerate their partners’ masturbation, which can put pressure on women, making it difficult for them to confidently enjoy orgasms. Instead, their own pleasure becomes a shackle for them.
It’s 2020, and the demonization of masturbation should be dispelled. Scientific research has long shown that masturbation is not only harmless, but suppressing one’s desires is actually harmful. Appropriate masturbation has many benefits.

Face your sexual needs

Masturbation is a normal physiological activity, as natural as drinking water when thirsty or eating when hungry, and should not be viewed with prejudice. The regret, guilt, shame, and social prejudice brought about by the theory that masturbation is harmful, which in turn affect physical and mental health, are the real root causes of the harm caused by masturbation. Women should face their normal needs squarely and should not look down on themselves for having desires. After all, who knows your body better than yourself, and who can feel your sensitive areas more clearly than you? Taking control of speed and rhythm and pleasing yourself is not a shameful thing.
Masturbation can relieve stress, help with sleep, and is beneficial to physical and mental health.

“When I’m under too much pressure, I try to please myself, and it does work to some extent. Relieving desires is also a way to relieve stress. It helps me understand what kind of pleasure my body likes. It’s really important for women to explore on their own; it can satisfy both the mind and body.” If a woman cannot achieve orgasm during sex, then masturbation is the safest way for her to obtain pleasure, relieve her desires, and enjoy the natural right to pleasure that her body bestows upon her.
Masturbation is an effective supplement to sex and can improve the quality of sex life. “My partner supports my masturbation. He wants me to be truly satisfied. He gets even more excited when he sees me orgasm, and we both have wonderful sexual experiences.” Masturbation can help explore sexual experiences. By touching oneself, one can learn how to touch others, enabling both partners to achieve orgasm during sex, and greatly increasing sexual satisfaction and intimacy with one’s partner.

Our exploration of sex has never ceased, and both men and women have the right to pursue self-pleasure. The purpose of discussing this topic today is not to encourage anyone to engage in sexual activity, but rather to encourage everyone to view it objectively and break free from self-imposed constraints and denial. Please remember, there is no sin in making your body happy. Don’t think that just because you’re an “experienced person” you don’t need to learn anymore; sex education is truly a lifelong endeavor. Your attitudes and views on sex not only affect you personally, but will ultimately influence generations to come.

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Understanding Women’s Intimate Health & Self-Care: Breaking Common Myths