Pre-intimacy care every woman should know

Introduction

Before we begin today’s article, I’d like to ask you a question: Have you ever regretted having sex with your partner?

This regret could be that you shouldn’t have had sex with them too quickly; it could be that you shouldn’t have had sex with them at that time and place; it could even be that you regretted having sex with them in the first place, because in the time that followed, you gradually realized that they were not the right person for you.

Recently, a young woman in our inbox expressed her confusion about this matter to us:

The woman seemed eager to have sex. Although she felt she might not be quite ready , she agreed to her boyfriend’s request to make him happy and maintain their harmonious and stable relationship. They had sex shortly after they became a couple.

But afterwards she felt a little regretful, thinking that she shouldn’t have agreed so easily, and was also very worried that her boyfriend would think she was too casual.

Influenced by traditional ideas, social trends, concerns about physical health, and their own personality traits, women may be more cautious about sexual behavior than men.

Many girls may have experienced the feelings of this reader. Whether or not they have had sex, every girl may have this question in her mind: Is it too fast to have sex after only 2 months/6 months/1 year of dating?

So this is the topic we want to discuss today: When is the best time to have sex with your partner? And what preparations should girls make beforehand?

20% of women regret having sex too quickly in a relationship.

A 2013 study published in *Archives of Sexual Behavior* provided valuable insights into the differences between men’s and women’s attitudes toward sexual regret. In this study, scientists investigated the most common and profound experiences of sexual regret in men and women, revealing significant differences in how they experience it .

In the ” Most Regretful Choice ” category, 24% of women checked “choosing the wrong partner for their virginity,” 20% of women regretted moving too quickly into sexual relations in a relationship , 27% of men regretted being too shy to tell their partner about their sexual interests, and 23% of men regretted not exploring sex more when they were younger.

Therefore, feeling regret in sexual relationships is a very common thing. In a way, regret is also a good thing, as it allows us to gradually correct our decisions in similar situations in the future .

For example, if we rushed into sexual activity in a previous relationship and found that this behavior was detrimental to the relationship, and what was originally intended to maintain the relationship ended up accelerating its decline, then in the next relationship, we might have more control over when to have sex.

These preparations are essential before sexual intercourse.

Whether it’s your first relationship and you’re struggling with whether or not to have sex with your boyfriend for the first time, or your second or nth relationship and you have a cautious or open attitude towards sex, there are a few key issues that girls need to know.

Are you really ready before deciding to have sex?

Sexual knowledge reserves

The lack of sex education and the taboo surrounding sex in society mean that many people’s sex education begins with unrealistic erotic novels and exaggerated pornographic videos. This may result in many people having unscientific knowledge about sex.

This is very unfriendly to women. Differences in physical structure make women more vulnerable in sexual relationships . Therefore, it is essential to have sufficient and accurate sexual knowledge before starting sexual activity in order to better protect oneself.

Pay attention, this is important! Check if you’ve memorized these basic sex safety tips for self-protection. If so, review them again; if not, memorize and write them down from memory.

Basic knowledge about sex

1. The hymen, also known as the vaginal flap, is a ring-shaped structure located very close to the vaginal opening. It can break at any time during the growth process due to strenuous exercise or other reasons .

2. Bleeding is not guaranteed the first time . However, if there is excessive bleeding, you should go to the hospital immediately, as it may be a vaginal tear.

3. Most women cannot achieve orgasm through the vagina; the clitoris is their source of orgasm, therefore foreplay is very important for women .

4. Women’s urethral openings are shorter, making them more susceptible to infection. Therefore, they need to pay extra attention to urination and cleaning before and after intercourse .

5. The frequency of sexual intercourse will not change the shape or color of the vulva , so girls with dark vulva color and loose vagina don’t need to worry too much about boys.

6. For those who don’t plan to conceive, prepare condoms! Condoms ! Condoms ! I’ll say it three times because it’s important. This is a highly recommended method of contraception. Correctly using condoms throughout sexual intercourse not only prevents pregnancy but also protects against sexually transmitted diseases .

7. The claim that “emergency contraception can only be taken 3 times a year ” is false . It is true that there are side effects, but you should still take it when necessary, as abortion is more harmful to the body.

8. Sexual intercourse is possible during menstruation, but it is not recommended as it increases the risk of infection . If you must have sex, take precautions and clean up properly. Sexual intercourse during menstruation does not provide contraception.

9. Neither rubbing nor withdrawal can prevent pregnancy , and there is still a certain chance of pregnancy;

10. Lubricant can be quite useful sometimes, so it’s advisable to keep some on hand to avoid serious tearing.

11. Regardless of whether they are sexually active, both partners should ideally get the HPV vaccine .

Mental preparation

Having discussed the physiological aspects, let’s move on to the psychological aspects, which are also very important. Many women regret having sex with their partners, which may be related to the fact that they rushed into a sexual relationship without being adequately psychologically prepared.

These women may be trying to please their partners to maintain a stable relationship , or they may lack self-confidence and need sex to assure themselves that they are loved .

In short, when deciding to have sex with their partner, their own sexual feelings are considered last , which can easily lead to regret, sadness, and depression afterward.

Therefore, it is essential to clarify one’s sexual values before engaging in sexual relations . Some girls have a severe ” virginity complex ” and are rushed into sexual relations by their boyfriends before they have thought things through. As a result, after breaking up with their boyfriends, they are unable to accept their “impure” selves and spend their days in tears and depression.

Clearly define your own sexual values, know where , what is acceptable, and what is absolutely unacceptable.

Setting your expectations for sex in advance and communicating honestly with your partner to come up with a mutually satisfactory plan can greatly help you prepare mentally and avoid feelings of disappointment and regret due to a lack of preparation.

Emotional delivery

As the saying goes, feelings are the best aphrodisiac. Whether it’s sexual techniques or sexual communication, it’s all based on the premise that you are sure of your feelings for your partner .

Having sex signifies that your relationship has entered a new phase. You will become increasingly familiar and intimate, which also means you are embarking on a journey completely different from before. This phase is difficult to sustain without love, understanding, support, and communication . It is also a crucial period for you to examine each other’s character, personality, and values.

How long should you date before having sex?

As attitudes gradually change, more and more people are taking a more cautious approach to marriage. As a result, cohabitation before marriage may have become a consensus among young people. However, many people may not be able to control the timing of sex accurately, and this may even lead to some conflicts and discomfort.

There’s no single standard for how long a relationship should last before starting sexual activity, because every relationship progresses differently . Some couples are quicker, with the feelings and connection building up, and might start having sex within a month. Others are slower, taking a more gradual approach, and might wait a year of dating or even until marriage before engaging in sexual activity.

Liu Yunzhu offers the following advice for your reference: If you feel hesitant, uncertain, or unsure, then don’t do it . Regardless of your current emotional state, you still have concerns and aren’t fully prepared. Out of responsibility to yourself and your partner, it’s best to carefully consider your options at this time.

In short, as I said before, if you feel you’re not ready, it’s best not to start easily. If you feel you’re ready and have sufficient psychological expectations for the sweetness, happiness, trepidation, entanglement, and panic that are about to come, and understand the principle of “choosing and taking responsibility,” then go ahead and enjoy wonderful sex.

By the way, if you don’t plan to get pregnant anytime soon, remember to use protection!

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Pre-intimacy care every woman should know