No products in the cart.
Return To Shop“I’m a girl, but I always want to penetrate my boyfriend. Is this normal?”
China OEM adult toy manufacturer
China custom sex toy manufacturer
China realistic dildo manufacturer
China adult toy supplier for brand
Today, let’s talk about the psychology of women and men~
01.Where did this bizarre idea of a woman x a man come from?
The term “female x male” has a specific meaning in English: pegging. To make it easier for everyone to understand, I’ve found a diagram that explains the process without being censored:
A survey conducted by the media website Cosmopolitan revealed that 65% of women have fantasized about grass (a type of plant) for their male partners (Hills, Hsieh, & Andrews, 2019).
Some women may share the same thoughts as Fiona, the eldest sister in “Shameless”:
Among these women who fantasize about having sex with men, many say their reason for having this thought is simple— curiosity (Hills et al., 2019). This desire may initially stem from a sudden, unspoken question that arises when looking at the other person’s buttocks: Can I enter through this entrance? How can I enter? Will he be happy if I go in?
Some women also want to try pegging in order to explore more diverse sexual orientations and preferences.
I tried pegging to explore my sexual orientation and preferences. I don’t really like straight men (especially heterosexual ones) because I feel a bit awkward around them. They stare at me too much. I also read some novels, including BL (Boys’ Love) and “Fourth Love,” and I wondered if I could try pegging.
I met my pegging partner on an online forum. On most dating apps, it’s the girls who talk about their body shape and appearance, but on this forum, some guys said things like, “Don’t mind me, I might be a little chubby, but I’ll lose weight.” That kind of talk gave me a feeling of being looked at in a different light, which was super satisfying, and then I met someone I clicked with.
— goat, female, 24 years old
02.
Female-male sexual intercourse might be a kind of pleasure in “taking control” in bed.
The desire to pegging reminds me of the “penis envy” proposed by the father of psychology, Sigmund Freud, which suggests that women subconsciously wish they also had a penis. However, when this fantasy occurs in a woman, it often doesn’t mean she envies her partner’s male identity, but rather that she craves control in the sexual relationship.
Among women with pegging experience, their enjoyment of pegging primarily stems not from physical satisfaction, but from a psychological sense of control (Hills et al., 2019; Hogan, 2019). Many women report that watching their male partners comply with their every move and enjoying the pleasure of penetration itself brings psychological sexual arousal and pleasure (Hills et al., 2019).
In general social perceptions, penetrating behavior is often associated with masculinity (Holland et al., 2004) , which in turn often signifies taking the initiative in sexual relationships (Dworkin, 1981). From this perspective, some women may enjoy pegging because it symbolizes a shift in power dynamics between the sexes in sexual relationships—in pegging, women are no longer passive recipients but actively “attack,” dominating the sexual process.
Many women, when describing their experience of control, often focus on the shift in initiative (Moore, 2016). They love not just the dominance they feel, but also the enjoyment of the “big man” beneath them, abandoning his usual “dominant” posture in sex and revealing his vulnerable side. Perhaps more important than the sense of control itself is the ability of both partners to take turns wielding initiative in the relationship, achieving a more balanced power dynamic .
03.What does “woman x man” mean in a relationship?
For first-time pegging enthusiasts, both men and women can find it quite challenging. After all, this activity, which challenges traditional sexual practices, requires both partners to be physically and mentally prepared. In research, many respondents indicated that they would only explore pegging when their relationship has reached a certain level of intimacy (Hills et al., 2019; Wignall, Scoats, Anderson, & Morales, 2020).
In other words, if your female partner wants to sleep with you, it’s probably because you two are too close (lol).
Many women who have tried pegging still tend to engage in traditional male-female sexual activity in their subsequent sexual relationships (Hills et al., 2019). However, this does not prevent them from viewing the experience of pegging as a positive one.
For these women, the act of a male partner voluntarily accompanying them in exploring different sexual experiences is itself significant for the intimate relationship. When a male partner willingly places himself in a vulnerable position that contradicts societal norms of masculinity, the woman also feels a strong sense of trust from him. Regardless of whether the experience itself is satisfying for both parties, pegging becomes a process of strengthening the intimate bond between partners (Hills et al., 2019).
04.However, many men strongly dislike pegging.why is that?
In fact, even in Western countries where pegging culture is becoming increasingly popular, most heterosexual men still have reservations about it (Branfman, Stiritz, & Anderson, 2017). Considering that in most cultures men are seen as the penetrating partner in heterosexual relationships, it is understandable that men resist pegging.
Furthermore, societal gender norms may subtly influence heterosexual men’s views on pegging. These norms encompass not only societal gender roles but also expectations regarding sexual relationships, typically placing male dominance in sexual activity (Pitagora, 2019). Pegging disrupts this traditional power dynamic, potentially threatening the gender identity of many heterosexual men and leading them to resist it.
Furthermore, Branfman et al. (2017) suggested that men’s acceptance of pegging is likely related to their attitudes toward sexual minorities. Many heterosexual men view anal sex as homosexual behavior, and their apprehension about pegging may stem from the fear of being perceived as a sexual minority.
Although 80% of the participants did not agree that men who enjoyed penetration were homosexual, they still associated this enjoyment with same-sex sexual behavior. (Screenshot from Branfman, J., Stiritz, S., & Anderson, E. (2018). Relaxing the straight male anus: Decreasing homohysteria around anal eroticism. Sexualities, 21(1-2), 109–127.)
However, this desire to distance oneself from same-sex sexual behavior is not the same as homophobia, because the latter often carries hostility toward the homosexual community, while the former simply wants to maintain one’s gender identity as a heterosexual man (Branfman et al., 2017).
Gender norms not only influence men’s views on pegging but also hinder the pleasure experienced by some men who are willing to explore it. In a survey conducted by Branfman et al. (2017), 40% of men who had tried pegging reported feeling ashamed, embarrassed, and experiencing self-doubt during the process. These psychological hurdles, which are difficult to overcome, may collectively constitute the reasons why men resist and are unable to enjoy pegging.
Even after trying pegging, some men may experience negative emotions and conflicting perceptions, such as feeling embarrassed or questioning their sexual orientation. (Screenshot from Branfman, J., Stiritz, S., & Anderson, E. (2018). Relaxing the straight male anus: Decreasing homohysteria around anal eroticism. Sexualities, 21(1-2), 109–127.)
05.Are there any precautions I should take if I want to try pegging with my partner?
Before and during sex, please remember: Communication! Communication! Communication!
First, if you are a woman and want to try pegging, but your male partner shows resistance, never talk him into it.
While pegging may represent a dynamic shift in power within a relationship, as mentioned earlier, your partner’s resistance to pegging does not necessarily indicate unequal treatment in the sexual relationship. Every adult has the right to choose their preferred sexual practices. Regardless of the reason, we have no right to force or persuade someone to try a particular method if they feel uncomfortable with it.
If you and your partner decide to try pegging, what aspects should you pay attention to?
Of course, that includes buying the right tools, cleaning, and lubrication! On one hand, pegging requires special attention to cleanliness before and after, and safety measures are essential! On the other hand, everything from the size of the tools, the depth of penetration, and the intensity of the movements needs to be discussed with your partner. After all, understanding his physical preferences is crucial for both of you to have a truly wonderful experience that opens the door to a new world!
CLIMAGOHI Lifelike Suction Base Massager – Glow-in-the-Dark Pink ZY-SC11037
Original price was: $59.00.$38.80Current price is: $38.80.
[SULTRYCARE] Lifelike Body-Safe Silicone Massager with Strong Suction Base – Anatomical Texture – Glow-in-the-Dark Pink – 5.5 in Insertable – ZY-SC11037
About author
Add comment