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Return To ShopHow to deal with your partner’s frigidity？/ Part 2
It’s not the sexual refusal that hurts the other person, but the way they refuse.
Psychologist James King conducted a series of surveys on many partners and found that it is not sexual rejection that causes harm, but an expression of sexual rejection.
Sexual rejection can generally be divided into four categories：
A. Reassured rejection
While expressing rejection, positive attention is also shown to the partner’s needs.
The standard process is: first explain why you don’t want to have sex and make sure that your love and desire for the other person hasn’t changed; then provide other forms of physical contact, such as kissing and hugging, touching, and promise to compensate the other person well next time.
B. Hostile rejection
Acting negative when refusing and （deliberately） causing harm. Disappointment, disgust at your partner’s sexual offer.
For example: When your boyfriend asks you for pleasure, you look disgusted：“You performed so poorly last night, but you had the nerve to do it again.”
C. Arbitrary rejection
Explain the reasons to your partner in a “clear and direct way, but don’t think of ways to appease your partner’s negative emotions.
Like，“I’m not in the mood, I’m going to sleep.”Honestly, but with no regard for your partner’s feelings.
d. Transfer refusal
Turn a blind eye to your partner’s wishes and use nonverbal behavior to escape.
For example, as soon as the other party approaches you, you say nothing, but turn around and lie far away to one side, or pretend to be asleep.
The findings of the study found ——
Refuse with peace of mind without destroying each other’s satisfaction with the relationship. And the rejected party will have increased satisfaction compared to the previous day. Because they feel that their partner still loves them.
And “hostile rejection, directly leads to reduced relationship satisfaction, causes harm, and indicates that both parties will have lower sexual desire in the future.
Arbitrary rejection and avoidance rejection do not have much impact on relationship satisfaction, but they do not enhance the relationship either.
So, peace of mind rejection is an excellent option to maintain satisfaction in cases of discordant sexual desire between partners.
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