Do Men Really Have Higher Sex Drive Than Women?

Traditionally, it is believed that men have a stronger sex drive than women.

This explanation is based on the traditional view of relationships between the sexes, which holds that men are the pursuers in a relationship and therefore seek sex as early as possible, while women are the gatekeepers in a relationship and therefore postpone the start of sexual activity as much as possible.

Even after a relationship between a man and a woman enters the realm of sex, this pattern of pursuit and resistance continues. In marriage, husbands often desire sex more than their wives.

Differences in libido are one of the most common issues in couples counseling.

In counseling, we often hear men complain that their sexual needs are not being met, while women complain that their husbands’ sexual needs are too strong. Couples often break up because of inconsistent sexual frequencies.

01 Are the differences in male and female libido innate?

Current research on the differences in male and female libido can be discussed from two main perspectives.

Firstly, from an evolutionary perspective, human mating and parenting behaviors are determined by the fact that our offspring require more care than other species. Therefore, in order to raise children, humans evolved marital relationships.

In this situation, the woman needs to postpone sexual activity until she is certain that the man will share the responsibility of raising the child with her.

At the same time, due to the long duration of pregnancy and breastfeeding, women devote a lot of time and energy to this aspect, and the number of offspring they can give birth to is limited.

In contrast, the cost to men in this regard is very low. From a cost perspective alone, they may only need to provide one viable sperm to increase their offspring. This low-cost method may allow them to increase their offspring by having sex with multiple women simultaneously.

Therefore, the physiological imbalance often results in women having a lower libido than men.

However, from a socio-cultural perspective, some studies have shown that women’s sexual desire is just as strong as men’s, but women are often repressed when expressing it.

In traditional social and cultural norms, a man’s expression of sexual desire is seen as a symbol of vitality and is praised as a “stud”.

However, if a woman expresses the same sexual desires, she is often labeled a “slut”.

At the same time, traditional sex education makes women’s sexual experiences less enjoyable. Often, women are required to play the role of a pleaser in sexual life, so their sexual experience is not pleasant and they cannot fully enjoy sexual stimulation, so they gradually lose interest in sex.

02 Sexual impulse is a personality trait

To determine whether men have stronger sexual urges than women, Julius Frankenbach, a psychologist at Saarland University (Germany), and his colleagues conducted a meta-analysis of more than 200 studies on the topic of “sex”.

This meta-analysis included data from 600,000 people and incorporated data from multiple studies to test hypotheses.

In analyzing the survey literature, Frankenbach and his colleagues discovered two issues that explain why we get so many contradictory results when comparing male and female sexual impulses.

The first problem is that we didn’t have a clear definition of what sexual impulses are before.
The second problem is that we do not have a unified research methodology to measure what constitutes sexual impulse.

To address these two issues, Frankenbach and his colleagues devised a theoretical framework for sexual impulses. The researchers proposed viewing sexual impulses as a personality trait.

Personality researchers categorize human states into temporary states and persistent traits.

For example, an extroverted person will not be extroverted in all situations or at all times. Sometimes, they may temporarily become introverted on a particular occasion, but overall, they are still an extroverted person.

The state describes your personality at that time, while personality traits describe your overall personality.

Similarly, a person’s sexual desire can fluctuate over time; this is their sexual impulse “state”.

But what we really need to study is their “sexual drive traits,” that is, their average level of sexual desire. After all, even a person with a very high sex drive may not be very interested in sex in certain situations.

Therefore, the way researchers ask questions can influence the results of a study. For example, asking participants how many times they thought about sex in the past day may not yield objective results, as this question is highly dependent on the participant’s circumstances and state of mind that day.

03 How to measure libido?

Researchers solved the problem of how to measure libido by using methods psychologists use to measure personality traits.

The basic elements of personality mainly include: emotion (feelings), behavior (actions), and cognition (thoughts). Psychologists define personality as a person’s typical modes of feeling, acting, and thinking.

Using this method, researchers measured three aspects of sexual arousal.

1. Are you easily aroused when faced with sexual stimuli or situations? (Emotional)
2. Frequency of sexual activity. (Behavior)
3. The frequency with which people think about sex over a period of time. (Cognition)

Regarding sexual behavior, many researchers use the frequency of intercourse as a measure of sexual arousal, but Frankenbach and his colleagues point out that this is problematic.

There are several main reasons:

First, in a heterosexual context, when a man engages in sexual activity, a woman also engages in sexual activity, so by this standard, the average sexual urges of men and women must be equal.

Secondly, whether or not people have sex is not entirely determined by their subjective will. Sometimes sex is forced or an act performed to please a partner, while other times, someone wants to have sex but has no sexual partner.

Therefore, the only sexual behavior that researchers counted was masturbation .

Researchers explain that masturbation is an active “sexual behavior” initiated by people. It should not be viewed as a preparatory stage or an incomplete substitute for establishing sexual relationships with others, because our erotic relationship with our own bodies lasts a lifetime.

Therefore, they deduced that this behavior is a more accurate measure of sexual desire.

04 The research results show that gender differences cannot replace individual circumstances.

After completing the meta-analysis, Frankenbach and his colleagues found that, on average, men did have a higher sex drive than women when measured according to their proposed definition .

However, regarding sexual differences, the results showed that about one-third of the female respondents said their sexual urges were higher than those of the average male.

However, the study only draws results based on overall sexual differences, and questions such as whether men have stronger sexual impulses than women are very subtle. Although we can calculate averages of sex differences, these figures cannot represent comparisons between individual men and women.

Research can only discuss trends, but there are many exceptions beyond the general rules.

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Do Men Really Have Higher Sex Drive Than Women?